cursed⭐︎ᵐⁱⁿˢᵘⁿᵍ

thirty eight

"Ten piece chicken McNuggets menu please. I would also like two iced Americanos and two cheesecakes."

Minho spoke through the drive-thru as he ordered our dinner.

My hands entered the pockets of my jacket to take out my wallet just to realize I was in fact not wearing it. I had forgotten it at home.

"Oh shit, I don't have any money on me."

"Who said you'll pay?" Minho said in a cold tone.

"Well you can't be paying for everything! I can do it myself too, you know. I'm an adult, not a kid."

"Can't I spoil my best friend?"

I rolled my eyes when he giggled and patiently waited for the food to be ready since I was already starving. I was hungry yet scared to eat, I felt like these past days I have been gaining lots of weight.

Even though I haven't been eating anything.

"Min, I'm not that hungry now. You should've ordered for yourself only." I said, shrugging my shoulders.

I wasn't sure he was aware of my eating struggles because we never really spoke about it. Well, my brother did bring my disorder up once, in front of Minho.

My brother.. I furrowed my eyebrows and sadly sighed.

"There was some food at home.. I ate it."

I was terrified of telling someone, who would believe me?

He paid for the food and placed it on my lap.

He drove for about an hour to a beach in Incheon, Eurwangni. He stopped the car and took some blankets from the backseat along with a bag.

I got out of the car and brought the food with me, slightly flinching at the contact with the cold breeze of the sea.

It felt nice.

I went up to Minho and arranged the blanket together. There was almost nobody else on the beach; only some people a few meters away from us, minding their own business. We were pretty much alone.

"Where's your jacket? It's gonna be cold tonight."

"I forgot to bring one."

Minho sighed and took his own hoodie off, handing it to me.

"I have another one, take it."

"I'll be just fine!" I said, rejecting his kind offer.

Honestly, the wind was blowing fiercely, sending sand flying in all directions. I shivered, pulling my arms close to my chest to try to shield myself from the cold.

Minho noticed my discomfort and walked over to me while smirking, a determined look on his face. "Here," he said, holding out his hoodie. "put this on."

I tried to protest again, but Minho was insistent. "You're going to freeze out here," he said, his voice tinged with concern. "put it on."

Still, I took 'no' in my arms and kept my cool although my body was visibly shaking.

He groaned and forcefully shoved the fabric down my head, covering my body and enveloping it in warmth. He was probably sick of my obstinacy, his tongue clicking gave it away.

"Thanks."

Minho grinned, feeling satisfied that he had convinced me to wear the hoodie. "No problem," he said, his voice tinged with affection. "I don't want you getting sick on me."

I smiled.

"Be grateful I'm not letting you freeze to death. We came here to have fun, not get sick." Minho scolded. 

We unpacked the food he had bought as we talked nonsense.

"I'm not hungry." I told him for the third time today.

"Do you really want me to feed you like a baby? If so, you could have just said it." he spoke while coming closer to me, holding a nugget in his hand.

"Oh geez, fine, I'll eat up! No need to do all of this.." I gave in, his cuteness being hard to handle.

He fed me a nugget and some fries until I finally moved away with a mouth full of food stored in my cheeks.

Minho stopped for a second to look at me, then began speaking. "You look like a chipmunk."

"I'm going to throw you in the water." I said, threatening him.

"I'll take you down with me. Wouldn't it be so romantic to drown together?"

I looked at him in disbelief.

"Seriously, Min? I'm so down! Bet." I joked. Half-joked actually, dying with Minho didn't seem like a bad idea.

He held his hand out as he took mine in his, dragging me into the sea.

We ran around the beach for about ten minutes, heading back to our blanket, already out of breath.

We played around, teased each other and made flirty jokes. That's how we conversated, it was our made-up love language.

Regardless of how fun it was, I couldn't feel fully happy. 

"Look, I believe your mother is proud of you." Minho said, pointing to a shiny star. 

I glanced at him, looking straight into his eyes that had star reflections on them. He looked so beautiful under the moon's gaze.

"Have some cheesecake, Ji. You did well." as cringe as that sounded it gave me a boost of confidence.

I took small bites, hoping the cake would never finish due to its tasty flavour I was addicted to.

After finishing we threw away the garbage and walked back to the car, putting the blanket inside. We rushed to the beach again and started walking around the shore.

"I hope we could stay here forever. I don't ever want to let go."

I know. I'm sorry, Min, but this way it's not going to work. I thought, knowing that I had to distance myself in the end.

"Mhm, it feels really nice. Thank you." I replied, smiling.

I thought of various ways how to dissociate myself without hurting him.

A fight?

We walked in a comfortable silence on the sand for hours listening to the waves splashing into each other. I really, really enjoyed being with him and so I didn't want to hurt Minho. I wished he would never, ever end up like everyone and I knew he wouldn't because I made the final decision; to let go.

"They say that friends are the family that you choose." I began talking.

"I never would've expected to choose you. It was pure coincidence, or maybe fate. I've never really had friends, I'm sorry if I don't know how to act."

"I feel like there's something special about you. There are sparkles whenever we are together, I can cry with you, I can open up to you and laugh for endless hours with you."

Minho listened carefully and slowed down his pace, walking side by side with me.

"If I ever had to choose a best friend again, it would be you. In every single lifetime, timeline, universe and planet. Only you, Min."

A painful yet relaxing silence occupied the beach for a few minutes until Minho spoke up after thinking.

"I feel as if a link exists between your heart and mine. And should that link be broken either by time or death."

We were two broken souls who were meant to meet and heal each other. More than friends but less than lovers as I liked to name our friendship.

"That's why you have to let me go."