cursed⭐︎ᵐⁱⁿˢᵘⁿᵍ

thirty six

I woke up still being held so carefully by no one other than Lee Minho himself. My best friend had his arm under my head as his other hand was attached to my waist.

He was sleeping so peacefully, his breathing was steady and it tingled my neck. I didn't want to move, I was way too comfortable, the temperature was just perfect and I knew that if I got out of his embrace I would be cold.

I was wearing a t-shirt and it was quite early so there was no way I wouldn't feel at least a little bit chilly, so I decided to remain beside, well technically in Minho's arms.

No more..

I turned around to face him and nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent that was fading away. I didn't want him to leave anymore. I wanted him to stay as long as he could.

He can't, Jisung.

I was scared that he would end up like everyone. I was terrified of that, Minho was my last hope. I hugged him tighter even though I was really hot.

"Please, never let go." I whispered as my words came out muffled hence my face was glued to the side of his neck. In response, even though he probably didn't hear what I said, he mumbled some incoherent words.

Minho eased my suffering. When I was with him I felt like all my worries disappeared. He showed me the right path.

The sun was slowly starting to rise, its rays reflecting directly into my room, probably on Minho's face. He was starting to wake up and I pretend to be asleep.

I didn't know how to react. I wasn't sure of how I should be reacting in the first place. I wanted to see what Minho would do.

He loosened his grip and slowly got up, going to the bathroom— not before looking down at me and tucking me in bed, probably thinking I was still dreaming.

My heart fluttered.

I could finally stretch. I didn't have to act anymore since I could just say he accidentally woke me up if he even asked. Or I could make up an excuse.

Why was I even overthinking such a little thing?

That was something I didn't know how to answer, it just happened so I just shrugged it off.

I checked the time, 7:30, Saturday.

My phone was somehow still working, which I was grateful for. I sighed and put it back down as Minho left the bathroom.

"Morning, how'd you sleep?" He greeted me with a small smile.

"Very well, thanks to you. How about you?"

"I could say the same. Are you hungry?"

I shook my head no and fell on my back on the mattress.

Minho sighed and gently pulled me by my hand to drag me downstairs. Even though I still had no energy and felt sick I had to feed my dog.

With his hand around my waist and small steps, I managed to go downstairs easily.

I gave Bbama some canine food, not forgetting water while Minho made an omelette for the both of us.

"I said I'm not hungry."

He sent me a glare and I immediately started eating, not wanting to upset him anymore.

"It's really good, thank you."

He beamed at me and offered to go outside. I immediately rejected the suggestion, I couldn't go outside. At least not now.

He was very understanding but forced me to go out at least in the garden later, with Bbama.

My friend washed the dishes— he was the one that wanted to, I didn't force him to do it— and I sat down on the kitchen counter, watching him.

Minho looked so good. That's all my mind could think while eyeing every move of his.

"You're staring."  he remarked, scarcely grinning.

"I'm not!" I bushed and jumped off the counter, turning around so my back would be facing him.

"Your ears are so red."

"Stop it!"

Why was he pointing my nervousness out? It was embarrassing for me. Mortifying even.

"Bbama, let's go."

We opened the back door and headed outside. I inhaled as much air as I could; I had an insupportable headache from staying inside all these days.

When I couldn't take Bbama out I just let the door open for him to enter and leave whenever he wanted to. I really couldn't go anywhere, I wasn't ready.

Outside, it was pretty warm, almost no clouds were spotted which meant today was going to be sunny.

The dog was enjoying himself too, playing around with Minho while I watched them.

I wanted to play as well. I tried getting up but I was frozen, I couldn't stand up from the seat. My brain didn't let me join them, I felt awful.

What am I, ill?

Minho looked nice. Even if he had just woken up, he looked majestic and I envied him for that. He could pull so many people easily yet I couldn't even pull a friend.

His side profile was excellent, his nose was just the perfect shape for his beautiful face, his rosy lips suited him and his eyes were so lovely I could look into them all the time. 

I never thought I'd say this but I was truly blessed to be mates with someone so ideal. Not friends nor best friends but soulmates.

Is he even real?

I often felt like he deserved way better— I mean, look at him and look at me. People complimented him because of his handsomeness while they praised me out of pity.

How could such a beautiful person not be disgusted with me?

"You must really like my face. You've been staring at it for the past minutes." he enunciated, chuckling.

"Shit, you surprised me." I started, startled, putting my hand over my chest. "I'm sorry, I must have zoned out."

He smiled at me and decided to go inside because Bbama got tired.

I turned the TV on and put on some random anime for it just to be background sound as I and Minho spoke over it, not paying any attention to the cartoon.

"You're really beautiful." I said, interrupting Minho's speech about bees.

I noticed his ears reddening as he shyly thanked me, complimenting me back. I nervously laughed and shrugged it off.

Deep down I knew none of his or others' compliments were genuine, there was no way. I couldn't accept one because I knew it was just a joke.

The insecurity got the best of me, I was helpless. They were even starting to control my actions— such as locking myself in to prevent meeting other people.

I didn't want to be made fun of anymore.

People always said my cheeks were too chubby. I was told I needed to lose some weight; and when I finally did, they bullied me into thinking I was too skinny.

You can never please people.