cursed⭐︎ᵐⁱⁿˢᵘⁿᵍ

thirty nine

"Jisung, I don't know what all of this is about. I'm not scared of death if that's what you mean, I would deadass take a bullet for you." he spoke as he put his hands on my shoulders.

"Exactly! Minho, I don't want you to die!"

He looked at me with a long sigh before he started walking again.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Just when I thought love was superficial you proved to me that I was completely wrong. You showed me what it is to feel loved for reasons more than my imperfect body or psychical vessel."

"That's why we have to end this. I can't handle losing another person, especially someone I respect."

He turned around again, welcoming me with a clasp of tight hands wrapped around my waist.

"Don't leave me."

"Please." he spoke so sincerely that it made me break down in tears.

"Maybe, just maybe in another life, not a cruel one, we will find our way back to each other."

I wasn't going to answer his calls. I wasn't going to look at pictures, listen to our music or watch the shows we watched together. I was aware that there were going to be lots of sleepless nights and pillows soaked with tears but forgetting him was the right path to go on.

But I had wait a few weeks. I couldn't do that now, I wasn't mentally prepared to let go of someone I admired so much.

"The moon is beautiful tonight. It looks unusual, in a good way."

"It's not as beautiful as you, Ji. Lighten up a bit." he spoke while linking our arms, something he usually did. It was kind of a thing of ours, how we showed appreciation.

"Minho, what will I do? I'm so lost." I said as another tear rolled down my cheek, quickly wiping it away.

"We'll figure it out together. I'm not letting you go."

"I'm sorry I always ruin our moments."

Minho was always so understanding, he never got mad at me no matter what I did.

Our happy moments always turned into therapy sessions and it was mainly my fault.

That was because I couldn't enjoy myself to the fullest knowing that happiness doesn't last. I knew that if I was happy right now I would cry later on. I overthought that too much.

"It's not your fault. I'm not mad at you, why would I be? You can't control your emotions, you just need someone and I'm willing to be that person."

We walked hand in hand under the gaze of the moon, swinging our arms with the rhythm of the waves. If anyone saw us they would be judging, but why? There were no romantic feelings involved at all.

We were just two best friends showing affection. What was so wrong with people of the same gender doing normal things? I never understood that.

My mum was an open-minded person, she always taught me to never judge people by the way they looked on the outside.

I wanted to make her proud.

After a few minutes of neither of us speaking, I broke the silence. "What do you like about me?"

He stopped to think. "Honestly? Your smile." the boy put his hand under my chin which made me look up at him. "Smile for me?"

The action made me slightly blush for some reason, though I didn't mind it. It made me feel all fuzzy inside, and a bit nervous as well.