Queen's Princess

PART III: Chapter 16

Odessa set me down on the makeshift bed she had, which wasn't as bad as mine, but it wasn't the best. I curled up into a small ball as I faced the wall, staring off into space. Odessa laid down beside me, her hand resting on my waist.

"You can stay here as long as you'd like, Y/N," she said. "I-I know how it feels to come home and not have everyone there."

"I never again want to experience loss."

"Oh, Y/N," she said and pulled me close to her. "Loss is something we can never escape."

I turned and buried my face in her chest, "I don't want to lose my parents. Not yet. I also don't want to lose ya."

Her hands ran up and down my back, soothing me, "I'm right here. I'm not going to go anywhere."

My eyes closed and the grip around Odessa tightened, trying to bring her closer even though she was already as close as she can be. Her grip around me tightened as well, trying anything to help me calm down and try to sleep or at least rest. 

"Dez?"

"Yeah?"

"Tomorrow, if I am up for it, do ya want to go to the oasis?"

"I'd love to, but I think ya still need time to grieve for your grandparents."

"I know, but my grandparents told me something that I want to see through. Not only because they want me to, but because I want to as well."

She nodded her head, "I'll go if you'll be ok."

"I promise, I'll do my best to be ok. I think I just need ya around to help calm me down if I ever get bad."

"I'll be here whenever ya need me. I won't leave your side while you're going through this. Just like how ya never left my side when my siblings and father died."

"Dez?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for being close to me."

I heard her smile as she rested her head on top of mine, "You're welcome, Y/N. I'll try my best to always be close to ya. To always be your rock when ya need a shoulder to cry on or to lean on someone."

"I couldn't ask for a better friend, Dez," I whispered before I finally drifted off to sleep.

Opening my eyes, I was surrounded by the desert in the oasis. The sky was purple and the stars were clear as day. I marveled at the sight of them because it was a rare sight to see, especially the stars. Sitting by the water were my grandparents. I ran towards them, wanting to be with them. But whenever I tried to run closer, I felt like I was getting farther. I tried calling out their names, but they were unable to hear me. I couldn't do anything even if I desperately wanted to do something to at least know I was there with them. But alas, nothing. I fell onto the sand and my head sank down to my chest. Tears dripped down from my eyes and onto the sand, creating little circles. I wrapped my arms around myself as I wept in the sand, trying to cry out to my grandparents. Eventually, I fell onto the sand, my vision blurring as my grandparents figures faded in and out of view. 

My eyes ripped open and I was breathing heavily. I looked around to see I was in a different place. Remembering where I was, my breathing slowed down and I rested my head against Odessa's chest. Turning to look over my shoulder, she was still asleep. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was steady. The grip around me was loose so I was able to squirm out and head over to the back side of their house. Quietly opening and closing the door, I sat down on the step there was and looked out at the cloudy moon. 

"If ya see a father and a few of his kids up there, say hi to 'em for Odessa," I said to the sky. 

I placed my head in my hands and looked down at the sand below, remembering how my grandparents were holding on to one another until their final breath. They had such great wisdom that I never learned. My grandparents never got to go back to Junkertown and see where they grew up. But why would they want to go back to a place where one of their own banished them to the Wastelands. I certainly don't want to, but I am going back to fight for my place there. I just hope we are able to, but with the current state we're in, I don't think we're going to get through it.

"Y/N?"

My head popped up and I turned, seeing Odessa was standing in the door frame. She walked out from the frame, closing the door, and sat beside me.

"Did I wake you?" I asked.

"No. The lack of your presence did."

"I swear ya can sense when I'm there or not," I said.

"Well the sudden warmth I had left and I was cold," she chuckled. "What are ya doing out here?"

"Looking at the moon. That I can barely see."

"It's rare for a clear night."

"Yeah."

There was a long moment of silence that I think Odessa wanted to interrupt, but didn't. 

"How did ya overcome your grief?"

"I didn't."

"What?"

"I am still grieving for my lost family members. But I remember what they would want me to do. They would want me to continue to fight for what I believe in. Go after the goal I've been telling them about. They were my greatest supporters and I want to give meaning to their support. So I will go all the way no matter how long it takes. I'll do whatever it takes to get me and my family out of 'ere. Along with ya, too."

I nodded, "Thank you, but I just don't think I can overcome this."

"One thing that sets us apart, Y/N, is that when we were training, you were mentally stronger than me. I let the past haunt me and I can't overcome it. I can only suppress it until it comes back. I've seen ya mentally excel when it comes with figuring a way through your problems. I'd rather punch through them."

I chuckled, which she bumped into my slightly.

"There it is. There's that laugh," she smiled.

I wrapped my arms around the one that was closest to me and rested my head against her shoulder. She placed her head on top of mine and I caressed her bare skin with my thumb.

"Thank you, Odessa."

Odessa lifted her head from mine, the feeling of her lips press against the top of my head, "You're welcome, Y/N."