Regulus Black Stories

Dead

Info - dead Regulus, rude Sirius, reader is not taking care of self, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, beating up someone, wanting to die, being left a note, just very sad and angsty, mentioning puke, unforgiveable curses

I didn't know how long it had been since I washed my hair, brushed my teeth, or eaten. I didn't want to be alive. Every moment I was alive is one that he was not. He'd left a damn letter, a stupid fucking letter, not even a real goodbye. I'd had to cast a charm on it because it was so wet with tears that it was becoming weak and close to ripping.

"Please let this be a dream, let this be a nightmare, let me wake up in his arms," I prayed, but there couldn't be a God if Regulus had died. Then an idea took hold of me.

I shot up on wobbling legs. I fell to the floor, garnet and midnight spots blooming in my vision. I didn't care, I forced myself up. I stumbled like a drunk but I made my way outside.

I didn't know where Mr. and Ms. Potter were. I knew the Marauders had stopped trying to get me to eat for a while.

They were out in the sunshine! Laughing with one another on the grass. If I'd had anything in my stomach, I would have thrown it up!

"Black!" I said, my voice cracked from disuse. I yanked out my wand. I tripped on something, so I crawled to him. I must've looked like a wild beast, advancing on all fours. I finally reached him, grabbing his robes and shoving my wand under his chin. They were all so shocked that they hadn't moved. No reflexes had locked in to stop me.

"You will take me to number 12 Grimmauld place!" I demanded. "Or I will cast imperio and make you!"

"Y/n you smell awful," James said from beside his best friend.

"I don't care!"

"What are you going to do there when you can barely stand?" Sirius asked.

"I'm going to have your damn house elf apparate me to wherever Regulus went and I'm going to get his body back! The love of my life will not spend eternity in a lake of the dead! I won't let him."

"The Inferi will kill you before you can find which one is him," James said.

"Then so be it, we'll share a resting place," I growled.

"Y/n he isn't worth it. You're going to get yourself killed because you and my little brother dated a year or two?" He laughed.

"Shut the fuck up you loathesome son of a bitch!" I snarled.

"Sirius don't, she's grieving," Remus said.

"Oh I'm a son of a bitch? He's got the same blood, only I'm better. So he made one good decision! I make them all the time and I don't see you worshipping the ground I walk on."

"Shut up! You didn't know him like I did!"

"Oh I knew him. It's probably good riddance he's dead, wouldn't want to two of you procreating after Hogwarts. There's enough bitch boy Slytherins as is-"

I tackled him. I didn't play fair. I bit him and pulled his hair. I scratched and screamed. It was Remus who hauled me off.

"What is wrong with you Padfoot? You don't even hate him that much, you were just bothering her!"

"I'm sick of taking care of her! Nothing we do helps, she won't get better! I thought this might help."

"I don't want to be alive. I want to be with him," I sobbed into Remus's chest.

"I know sweet heart," he soothed.

"Don't soothe me! I will never get over this!" I wrenched myself out his arms and threw myself on the ground. I screamed. I screamed until my voice gave out. I yanked up grass threw it.

"Why not me! Why him? Anyone but him," I said, crying so hard I could barely breathe. I turned my wand on myself.

"Avada Kadavra!" I screamed. It didn't work.

"Moony," I said, trying to make him lift his wand arm.

"James your parents need to come back from holiday, she needs Saint Mungos," Remus said.

"I DONT NEED A HOSPITAL I NEED REGULUS BLACK!" I shouted.