Regulus Black Stories

I'd Seatch the depths (P16)

Info - half death, pain, mention of puke, worry, begging, mention of self harm and Ed

"Honey, we've got to tell some adults," Regulus said and he held my hand and kissed the top. He looked at me sympathetically.

"I-I can't they'll kill me. Worse yet, they'll keep me and torture me for information," I sobbed.

"We're not going to tell just anyone," he soothed. He was pressing my hair back to keep it away from the perspiration on my forehead.

"What do you mean," I sniffled.

"I-I think I'm ready to meet my brother," he whispered.

When I was feeling better I was able to make it out of the dorm. People were giving me odd looks. It was the first time people had seemed to notice me.

I was pale, a sheen of sweat covered me and my features looked very different. My nose was sinking in a bit. My veins were blackening, my pupils continued to thin, and I was weak. Not to mention, I'd been having Rose bring me my school work. I hadn't been able to go to classes.

Regulus had been nursing me through my wild bouts of sickness. He was there every step of the way. He often joked that now it was like he was bringing me back to life. I tried to laugh but I felt horrid.

I finally felt well enough to get up and make my way to Rose. She was talking to her cousin Albus which made things even easier. Regulus was beside me in the invisibility cloak. I was breathing heavily. I thought must look like a monster shuffling towards them.

"R-Rose," I rasped.

"Oh, y/n, are you finally feeling better?" She asked.

"No, not really, but Rose, I need a favour, please," I breathed. I steadied my hand against the wall. I felt shaky and dizzy. From behind me I felt Regulus supporting my back.

"What? Oh what is it?" She asked worriedly. She was close to me now. She gripped my arms to help me stay upright.

"I need, I-I need to see Sirius, a-and Lupin. Actually, your mum and dad and uncle Harry too," I told her desperately.

"Why?" Albus cut in.

"Please, I can't tell you but I-I need," I stopped myself because I gagged. The gagging I did now didn't feel like I was going to puke. It felt like a creature was trying to make its way out of me. I was panting. I tried to breathe through the waves of pain.

"You can't tell us?" Albus demanded.

"Look at me!" I said so loudly I knew people were looking. "Do I look okay? Please! P-please!"

"I need to know-"

"I will tell you everything, but I can't yet," I said.

"But, y/n what can we do? Apparting on Hogwarts grounds isn't possible. We could send an owl but, I don't even know what we'd say," Rose said. She was worrying her lip anxiously.

"You have tryyyy," my voice faded. I was slipping into oblivion. My vision was tunneling.

"Y/n, mon amour," I heard Regulus ask. People were looking for the disembodied voice.

"I need-" I was falling but I didn't crash. Regulus caught me. There were gasps and exclamations as the cloak fell off him. He was trying to get me to come back to him. I didn't have the strength. The evil of killing a pure creature was trying to eat me alive, and the love that connect Regulus and I was only so strong. I'd weakened my body with starvation and self harm or maybe I'd be able to fight this off better.

"Don't leave me," Regulus begged. "I can't be alone again."

I did leave though. I felt an aching pain that radiates from my heart outward. I was in the dark but it wasn't bliss or ease. It wasn't a sweet and beautiful passing. I didn't even know if I was dead because I was throbbing so awfully that I couldn't stay still.

"Hello love," said a kind voice. I felt something cool on my burning head. I blinked open my eyes. I'd expected Regulus but instead I saw a woman.

She was young and beautiful. She had dark red hair and the same green eyes as the famous Boy Who Lived.

"Lily Potter," I choked.

"Yes darling," she nodded with a smile.

"Does that mean I'm dead," I asked as he moved her hand around my face, cooling it.

"No dear, only half dead," she amended.

"I-I don't know what that means," I cried.

"I don't really either, but I felt drawn to you."

"I drew you out of the afterlife? Oh fuck, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to cause you any pain. I just wanted, I was just trying-"

"Shhhhh," she soothed.

"I just wanted to be special," I said, hot tears spilling down my tears. "I wanted someone to recognise me. I wanted to be like you and show people that is was worthy and-"

"No, no baby," Lily said gently. "You didn't want any of that."

"I didn't?" I asked. I sounded like a small child. I was begging for her approval as I had begged for my parents' so often. I expected the same dismissal.

"No honey, you wanted love. You wanted love and you went out and tried to find it on your own. I know it's hard but you've got to fight this infection because you aren't like Voldemort," she assured me.

"I'm not?" I asked in a tiny voice.

"No, you're not like him. You're like me. You're willing to do anything for love," she said with a fond smile. She was still kindly pushing my hair back from my face.

"Like you? Like, like the famous Lily Potted?"

"Why am I famous angel?" She asked me.

"Because of your sacrifice," I answered immediately.

"Because of my love," she said.

There was a long silence where I basked in her attention. My own mother had never treated me so kindly.

"You have to go back now and fight. You need to fight because there's a boy out there who died too soon, and he misses you dearly," Lily said.

"Okay, okay, I will, I promise I will," I nodded.

"And, if you remember, could you tell Harry I'm so proud of him and I love him so much," she asked and she was crying now.

"Of course, of course I will," I agreed readily.

"Thank you dear," she said.

Suddenly, her face twisted into a horrific mask of worry. She was shouting my name. She sounded like a siren. I was so confused that I covered my ears.

"Y/n, y/n, y/n, y/n!" The begging was changing from Lily's voice to a deeper one. Her features changed too. Hair went from red to black, long to short, straight to curly. Her freckles faded into a matte pale complexion. Her wide grey eyes faded to a shadowy grey. Her cheekbones sharpened and her eyebrows thickened. There he was, Regulus, my love.

"I'm here," I gasped.

"Oh thank Merlin," he praised. He hugged me tightly. I was surprised that over his shoulder I saw I wasn't in Hogwarts but another house. Hermione and Ron Weasley along with Harry Potter himself stood behind him. They all looked worried and deeply surprised. There was something else too. An old vein pulsed in all their foreheads as if they'd never thought they'd see this again and yet their bodies kept the score of what they did know.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.