Deadly Affairs

40

Charlotte

The first thing I notice when I wake up is the pounding in my head. I groan moving my hand to rub over my eyes, forcing the sleep away. I look around the room, the familiarity causing me to sit up. I look over to bedside table, a glass of water and two tablets being left, a note too.

"I didn't know when you'd wake up, and i didn't want to wake you so here's some water and paracetamol.

-Roman."

Smiling, I pick up the paracetamol and swallow it down with the water. Being back here feels odd and I didn't realise how much I missed it. Pulling the covers aside, I climb out and make my way down the corridor.

The door to the room that holds a lot of memories for both of us is open. I try so hard to resist looking inside but I fail. My curiosity betrays me.

Roman is nowhere to be seen but the bed is neatly made, the side I would usually sleep on neatly made and the pillows seem to be in the order I always wanted. The small changes I made haven't been reversed and it makes my heart ache. He still has a picture of us framed by his bed.

My stomach grumbles and that's what makes me leave the room. Heading down the stairs, I still couldn't see Roman.

I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I made myself a drink right? I take out a mug from the cabinet and make myself a coffee, my favourite coffee. It doesn't taste as good as it usually does. Maybe it's because Roman usually made it for me in the morning.

The sliding doors open, and soon enough Roman comes into view. His shirt is slung over his shoulder, his chest bare and glistening with sweat. Grey sweatpants are hanging low around his waist.

Am i breathing?

His hand ruffles through his hair and when he looks up and notices me, a small smile breaks through. "Charlotte, hi."

"I-Uh made myself a drink, I didn't think you would mind." I stand awkwardly, the coffee cup in my hand. He makes his way over the counter and my heart beat only increases.

"Of course that's okay. Any plans for today?" He opens up the fridge behind me grabbing out the milk. This all feels so normal, but so wrong.

"No..no plans. I honestly would of spent today maybe trying to cover up the bruises that would of appeared in my face and all." He's so close to me.

Something in him switches, and his hand grabs ahold of my jaw gently but firmly. His eyes soften as he scans my face with his eyes, "they look good to me. I knew it would work." His eyes flick up to mine, and then to my lips.

"Thank you..for the help." My words sound breathless, my own body betraying me. Cmon pull yourself together.

He pulls away gently, turning back to get his bowl and cereal. There's an awkward silence between us, and before I go to speak, he does.

"I know I messed up. You have every right to be mad at me but please don't shut me out. Please." Facing me once again, his hands dangle at his sides. My mouth runs dry.

"Roman- you.." He cuts me off, "I know. I should of never had done it and should have told you but I promise you nothing I ever said to you, or did was fake. I've loved you since I laid my eyes on you in that very bar and I won't ever stop loving you."

I gulp, a shaky breath leaving me that I didn't even know I was holding in. "Slow. Slow is how we move on from now."

He relaxes a touch at my words, "Will you stay here? Please just for now. I've missed you."

"Roman.. I don't know if that's the best idea. You really hurt me. I'm willing to give you another chance but you need to show me that whatever I read doesn't define us. I won't live my life fake."

He moves closer, his hand gripping mine. "Nothing was ever fake. All i want to do is have you. Call you my girlfriend, hell even call you my wife one day when your ready. I'm sorry I lied, i'm sorry I messed up. I would do anything for you, and if it means proving myself to you, I would do it a million times over and over again."

"I-I.." His thumb rubs gently over the skin of my hand.

"Not one day have I not thought about you. Thought about the way you laugh. The way you get flustered so easily. The way you always are cold and put your body on mine, The way you feel in my arms. The way you smiled so gently in the mornings. The way your nose scrunches up when I kiss you on your forehead, and god help me it's the cutest thing i've ever fucking seen. The way you make me feel. Please charlotte. Let me prove to you how much I love you and how much you mean to me."

Silence.

"Okay."

"Okay? you'll let me? Please please please.." His hands squeeze mine.

"I will, but we take things my pace. I need to learn to trust you again. I won't let us go back to how we were immediately."

"I understand. Thank you so much."

And in that very moment, I realise I charlotte Loretto is smothered in love with Roman Cascade, and I can't escape it.