In the Heart of Horizon (Sunset Avenues #4)

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Dreams

As I have thought of him, the loud booming sound was his comfort and it was his music. I stared at him for some time and gulped the lump in my throat. How could a single person affect me that much or even in this lifetime, I didn't think of heartbreak as a destination of one's heart or perhaps I have never experienced a heartbreak as shattering as that before.

And it was brave for me to acknowledge that I have loved him.. or love him still.

I have been told things about him and at the same time I have seen him. I was made to believe by my own truth that Vance is already capable of change and perhaps my notion about him has drastically changed too. Right, and the only thing I could do is to be rational and see him through that lens.

"Nag-iisip ako ng kursong kukunin pero baka hindi rin kayanin ng utak ko, President," nakangiwing aniya.

Tinitigan ko siya gamit ang aking blangkong ekspresyon. Just the way I wanted my eyes to portray.. just so I wouldn't fall deeper.. just so he wouldn't notice that I am falling deeper. When I have accommodated him in my life, I have learned to just watch him in a closed distance or even in a faraway distance.. and pretend that I don't care.

"I can learn math but I am still not good at it," wika niya. "I am good at nothing," dismayadong sambit niya at ibinaba ang kan'yang ballpen.

I walked towards his direction. Nakabukas ang ilaw sa kan'yang sala at naroon kami. I wanted to be patient as he was so patient with me too. So I listened as I stared at him. And I have learned that Vance is really my opposite. I have always wanted to be a lawyer, pursue a pre-law in college while for him, he wants to pursue his college education but he doesn't know what to do yet.

He doesn't know where and when to start.

"I can't even construct a decent essay. What the fuck," dagdag niya.

Tinawanan ko siya. Nag-iwas siya ng tingin nang tumawa ako, na parang malaking butas sa kan'yang pagkatao iyon. Kinuha ko ang nasa papel at napangiwi.

"Bakit ka naman naglalagay ng mura sa essay?" I asked him.

"Wala.. Eh wala na akong masulat. Your strengths are my weaknesses, Asia. I am not good in acads."

"Pero magaling ka sa sports," pagpupumilit ko. "Kahit nayayabangan ako sa'yo," dagdag ko.

Napanguso siya, walang imik dahil hindi niya pwedeng pasubalian ang sinabi ko dahil totoo naman iyon.

"We do not just consider someone as 'dumb' because that someone is lacking in a particular subject area. For instance kasi, one might be good in language, both at speaking and writing however not inclined with sports or music. In your case, Vance, you can play the drums and you can easily learn other things."

Hinila niya ang aking palapulsuhan upang mapalapit ako sa kan'yang pwesto. "Hindi ko alam pero kahit yata pagalitan mo ako ay matutulala pa rin ako habang nakatitig sa'yo, Asia."

"Hindi ka nakakatuwa."

As if he's no longer the Vance I used to know. Na palaging magkasulubong ang kilay at mistulang galit na galit sa mundo. The Vance who is only good in troubles and flirting.

"Paano ba dapat kita titigan?" he pursed his lips.

Tumikhim ako. Kahit naman magkasama kami, hindi pa rin ako sanay sa ganoon. I am not used to someone's attention or even the eyes of admiration. I wasn't admired for 'beauty', I was only admired for my 'intelligence' and 'achievements'.