Her untold story

14/11/22

Hello readers,

Crazy to think that this time last year I was so in love lol, because of how my life is now that makes me laugh because of how much I fucked myself over believing so many lies and fake apologies how can you love someone and continuously hurt that person, it just doesn't make sense the fact that I fucked myself over so many times only makes me look like a naïve little girl. 

I can truly never believe everything that was said to me unless it is said to my face because wow lol the way people lie to you is truly insane. I do not regret falling in love although in my heart I know that it was a little too early to fall so deeply for someone when they are not even here with me.

God, I wish that someone would have told me to chill out back then and not get myself played in such a way. But I guess when you are alone for so long in your mind you open yourself to be hurt because you just crave the love from everyone else but yourself; not saying that I hated myself but I was kind of lonely dealing with so many emotions I could barely understand myself, I felt as if I was the only one who could understand me.

Lol, and just to think I was so worried about the SAT last year lol that is honestly hilarious because I thought that it would contradict my life and if I was going to succeed or not in life but wow I stressed about the wrong things, seeing how I am now living my dream every day I wake up excited to teach the little kids.

 I have news as well, I had planned to go to Spain but that trip is very much postponed until I feel is a good time to go I will be going to my home town in May which I am excited about only because I get to see my other family, I miss them so much.

I read what I wrote last year on 8/12/22 my heart wanted to cry because of the number of times I put up with so much shit that I did not deserve, my poor little heart has been through so much and nobody doesn't even know.

If I have learned anything about my journey thus far is to truly do what makes you happy even if the happiness will come, later on, it is not worth constantly allowing yourself to be played no matter how things feel when things are good.

I am not going to lie and say I don't want to talk to a certain someone because I do even though I know in my heart that I shouldn't be waiting for anyone to give me something that I should be granting myself but I can't help the feeling. I do not like to keep my feelings inside its like if I do not express myself to the person that needs to hear I will feel like my heart is stuffy, but what to do lol?

PEACE AND BLESSINGS,

ALWAYS REMEMBER THE NAME NBSY, WHERE LOVE COMES FIRST.