Her untold story

13/1/2022

Hello readers ,

Today I  decided to just rant lol I have a lot of things on my mind.

So many moments in my life I wish I can just stay in, there are so many beautiful memories I wish to just live in my pretty memories sometimes, life hasn't always been rainbows and unicorns but it has always been God's plans ,every decision and every choice was pre determined.

So many beautiful people have entered my life and some of them I don't remember meeting ,many distant memories berried .I think some of my most important lessons  in my life have been taught to me when I fell in love for the second time ,it was so beautiful so adventurous but yet pain came with it as well, he would always say how grateful he was to have me; someone to love him for his imperfections for his beauty within , it's funny how that very reason (his imperfection) was the reasons for the ending .

He hadn't always treated me right . He kept secrets ,he wasn't honest ,he cheated and yet I still loved him and remained in love with him. if you would ask me  am I in love now  I honestly wouldn't know what to say anymore. 

Through all of the hurt that once blinded me your still one of my favorite topics to talk about. I decided to no longer speak of you in a certain ways because I didn't deserve to be that way (sad, angry, depressed)also  my heart no longer long for you the way it did before because I finally understood  what I was really craving; I craved for your love, your touch, it wasn't the sexual cravings I wanted to feel and know how real you are and that what was between us was real.

I couldn't help but to fall in love with the smallest of things they never noticed but lol now your gone ,one thing I know for sure is your love for me was real I felt it ,you were right  you didn't deserve me always and to be honest I didn't deserve you at times as well but thats what makes us humans to doubt, to escape, to feel pain, to feel the hurt, to cry and much more, I could never understand why you gave up and thats okay I've made my peace with it and to be honest I am no longer angry I am just okay .

I wish and pray for love to enter your life and God will give you another chance at love and the strength to get through all of these challenges ,I wish I could speak to you and tell you what you need to hear because it's very much needed . I hope one day I can give you a hug and say hello for the first time .

Lol funny thing is I promised myself I wouldn't speak of you or write about you lol but when it comes to you everything always seep through the wall of promises, funny how life works .

PEACE AND BLESSINGS ,

ALWAYS REMEMBER THE NAME NBSY,WHERE LOVE COMES FIRST.