you can hear it in the silence

chapter four

Adare ༉‧₊˚✧.*

It's the third week of classes and I've spent the entirety of my last three weeks trying to get used to things.

I'm more comfortable now, but there's still so much that cranks up my anxiety in the middle and the day and have to snap myself back into reality.

My days have been spent in class, in my dorm, in the dining hall and...that's about it.

I've been too anxious to even go anywhere one, because hello, I'm not going anywhere by myself. And two, if I was ever in a situation where I needed to leave or starting feeling a panic attack starting, my dad is two hours away.

I wish my mom was still here.
She would know exactly what to say to me that would ease literally every anxious feeling I have.

I glance down at my phone to get the time and see that I still have 30 minutes until I need to be in my first class and decide to go ask my Philosophy professor for clarification on an essay we have to do.

As I bring myself up the steps into where my professor is, the past class must have just gotten let out.

There's students going out both of the doors, this is a huge university, and I make my way over to my Philosophy professor.
After speaking with him, we have a paper over the trolly problem facing two different scenarios.

One being that a trolly and going along on its way and there's two different railroads coming up. On one, there's a baby thats stuck on the bottom, but if we turn to the second railroad we kill five other, different people.

The second scenario is that the trolly is going along and on one side of the railroads is three surgeons, but if we turn to the other one, Hitler is standing there.

Harsh.

We had an AP Philosophy class in high school, so luckily I know the basis of philosophy and moral value, but damn, the trolly problem stumps me every time.
Except for the Hilter part.
You always turn the lever towards Hitler.

Thanking my professor for the clarification I needed to start my paper, I head back up the auditorium stairs.

Pretty much all of the students have cleared out except for the couple of people I can overhear slightly in the hallway.

As I get closer, I start to hear a familiar voice.
"Yeah, that'd be great, yeah Philosophy really confuses me. I would really appreciate the help, Cass."

Wes.
I can just hear the grin on his face.

"For sure! Here, give me your phone so I can put in my number," the next voice says. "I'll text you about what time you want me to help you."

I roll my eyes silently to myself while walking over to the second set of doors to leave so I don't have to see him.

Wes was on the honor roll.

He aced AP Philosophy and I never saw him crack open a book.
Too busy worrying about hockey.

I mean I guess it worked out for him, he's plays for our college now. Despite that, he made A's on every single one of the exams.

'Philosophy really confuses me' I replay back in my head.
Yeah right.

I finally make it out of the ethics building and back outside as I start walking to my next class.

"Well what do you know, Wellsy, you're not an hour early to lecture? I'm shocked."

I roll my eyes and sigh.
He is everywhere.

I turn my head and take him in. He's wearing a black shirt and grey sweatpants with Nike's on.
"Maybe if you stopped taking lessons from the creep on the side of the road you wouldn't of memorized my schedule," I say back.

"If you didn't realize, Wellsy, we are going to the same class," he replies, unfazed.

I just widen my eyes, annoyed, "how could I forget," I mumble.

He catches up to me and is now walking beside me.

"Actually, I think I should be calling you the creep, that was my building you just came out of."

"I have that professor too, thank you," I snap back.
He is fucking insufferable.

"And by the way," I continue, "why are you acting like you're struggling in that class?"

He has this innocent look on his face like he doesn't know what I'm talking about.

"How do you know I'm not?" He challenges.

Really?
He's the most annoying person I've ever met.

"You and I both know you passed with flying colors last year."
"How do you know I'm not struggling this year?"

I finally look up to him, his eyes plastered on me.
I pause. He knows what I'm about to say.

"You're smart, Wes."

He raises his brows looking surprised that I said it.
"Yeah?" He questions, "what's it to you?"

"You made it seem like you were an idiot," I pause, retracting what I say, "I mean, you are an idiot, just not when it comes to Philosophy."

He doesn't say anything, but he looks very pleased with himself.

"I'm just saying," I start, "you don't need a tutor, if anything you need to be a tutor. You're here on a scholarship for God's sake," I huff out a laugh.

"A hockey scholarship," he replies matter-of-factly, "not an academic one."

"You would've had an academic one if you didn't take the hockey one."

Saying that out loud makes me sick, he's good at everything.

And then it all clicks.

"Oh my gosh," I say exasperated. "Is that what you've been doing all these years?"
I continue, "acting like the helpless jock who needs a tutor so you can get laid?"

He pauses and has that stupid smirk on his face before saying, "It's not what you can do for being a dumb jock, it's what being a dumb jock can do for you."

I just roll my eyes and let out a small huff, "you're such a tool."

"Yeah?" He questions with his dark eyes while he holds the door open to the Oceanography building, "tell me more."

༉‧₊˚✧.*
thanks for reading!
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