you can hear it in the silence

chapter nine

**tw**
mention of anxiety and panic attacks
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Adare ༉‧₊˚✧.*

It's almost here.

I'm one hundred percent about to have a panic attack in less than ten minutes.

I can't hope for one not to happen anymore, but I'm just hoping that I can delay the inevitable until I get back to my dorm.

My breathing starts to get ragged as I try and unlock my dorm.
My hands are shaking so it's not easy.

Once I finally am able to open the door, it shuts behind me and feel my body start to shut down, or turn on to the max ability, I don't know.

My brain starts to fog up and I can't form a coherent thought.
Only fear.

My heart is pounding and I feel like someone is slowly squeezing the oxygen out of me.

Trying to take deep breathes doesn't help, I'm just quickly panting now.

I feel like my chest is tightening in a spiral.
Tightening.
Tightening.
Tightening.

And my vision is starting to fade in and out, before it looks like large splotches are covering my eyes.

I hear a high pitched ringing coming from my ears and now the tears are flowing.

The spiral tightening.

Tightening.
Tightening.
Tightening.

I start to try and pull myself back into reality by shaking my wrists fast.

Sometimes that works.
Not this time.

I feel like I've been in this panic attack for forever, normally they happen for a couple minutes and then I'm back to reality, normally so exhausted that I go to sleep for a couple of hours.

But this one feels like it just keeps going.

Spiraling.
Spiraling.
Spiraling.

Tightening.
Tightening.
Tightening.

I keep shaking my wrists and moving around trying to get this to end.

I don't even hear or see Wes when he first walks in until I feel like hands on my shoulders.

I guess I forgot to lock my door back.

His touch surprises me and I blink couple of times and he starts to become less blurry.

When I do see him though, there's shock, worry and fear plastered across his face.

His eyes are wide open when he says, "Adare what the fuck is going on? What's the matter?" He asks desperately.

I don't know how to respond.

"Please talk to me," he whispers desperately.

I'm still very much in the middle of a panic attack and can't think straight.