Petits défis sympas

Stupid face - Abe Parker

Le texte qui suit est en anglais, donc bon.... Si vous comprenez pas l'anglais, je suis désolé... je peux peut-être vous le résumer en français, mais je pense que j'avais besoin de faire ça de cette façon pour mettre tout à plat. Et oui, ce texte est aussi entièrement dédié à quelqu'un, vous pourrez le deviner facilement.

Bref, assez parler, enjoy :)

Hey, miss your stupid face
Get back to my place, I need you
It hurts so much to wait
Don't care what it takes
I'll pay for the plane whatever
I can't do this today

Hey, I just want to say that I miss you so much. I didn't even know that I could miss a friendship like that. I didn't know I needed that friendship this much. Honestly, I just miss the years it represents, I guess. I'm not even really sure about it. All I know, is that I failed few days after we last talk. I broke a promise so important I told you. But I couldn't do it that day, it was just way too hard. So, I let my thoughts win. I thought it would only be one time, but... I do want to do it again. I'm fighting so hard to not fail again. But I think I'm going to let go again. I can't do this today. I can't have my mind this active today.

Just because you're not the only person I miss. And, even if I could still go to see you, I also miss someone I could never see again. And I must admit that losing a friendship this important the same year as I lost someone so important in my life the same year, it's hard. Like really hard. If I could only go back one year back... I wish that so much. I could talk to you more, stay in contact with you, not lose you, tell you how much you matter to me, that you're the best friend I could I have at this time. I could go see him as well, talk to him, tell him I love him so much, and losing him will leave a hole so deep I'm not sure it will ever be full again.

I lost two people so important to me this year. One just because I'm stupid, and I let us grow so much apart. I just let us go our own way, by not trying to reach to you. And another one just because life is a freaking bitch. Just because I couldn't be happy with him a few more years.

But I could still go see you. Because I still miss your stupid face. And I need you, I need what our friendship represented. I would have pay so much to see you. Just to spend a bit more time with you. We lost contact mostly because of me, I think. Because I moved out. 450 km is a bit far, isn't it? And we were kids. No way to see each other without our parents accord. But if only I did a bit more... Don't you think? I could have reach out more often, and maybe, it would have been better today. I could still have sent you a present for Christmas or your birthday. But... Yeah, life put us apart.

Maybe it is for the better. Maybe it's just fate and we have to accept that.

That's what I want to tell myself. Because it would hurt too much to think that it's all my fault. The worse is that I know that the problem is shared. Like, none of us made too much effort to keep our friendship living, but I know myself, and I really think I should have made more. Just because I know that I'm not the type of person who reach out to other people. Most of the time I let them do the first step. But you're also like that, aren't you? So, two people just waiting for the other to talk are just two people not talking to each other.

You know what? I'm writing all of this, even posting it because this stupid song made me think about all that, but it's also because I'm selfish. I want to turn the page. I guess it is me doing my grieve over our wonderful friendship. I'm letting it go a second time. So, I can try sorting out my other emotion, with the other person I lost this year. And also, probably because it's nearly Christmas, and I would love to end the year with my emotions cleared out.

I do still appreciate you very much. I love the fact that you were part of my life for nearly 6 years. You're still welcome in my life, I guess, but it will never be the same, would it?

It's a goodbye. It's a take care of you. I wish you the very best for your future.

Et j't'emmène au vent. Because I will never forget that. Never. It's still our song in my head.

Je ne dirai pas à qui il est dédié, mais je l'ai envoyé, donc si tu lis toujours, bye :) wish you the best.