37 | Expecting

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For most of the morning, I felt like I wasn't even in my own body. I barely spoke to anyone. I only spoke to Giana when she asked me what I wanted for breakfast. When my Mother informed me that she made an appointment I just simply nodded in acknowledgment and continued to stare out the window.

Enzo texted me last night just after I went to bed. He informed me that he had just landed in Russia and to not be upset or worried when he didn't reply back to my texts because the place they were staying at had spotty reception. It's been just over 24 hours since he left and everything is already going to shit.

Now the driver has pulled up to a small discrete clinic. I'm wedged between my Mother and Giana, and Daniella and Alessia sit in the very back of the large SUV. The driver opens my Mother's door and offers her a hand. I follow suit, blankly staring at the front doors of the clinic.

My Mother gently grabs my hand and leads me towards the doors. We check in and take a seat. Looking around I watch as pregnant women rub their swollen bellies happily, their partners sitting next to them equally as happy.

Only a few minutes later my name is called. I stand on shaky legs and look back at my Mother. She gives a small smile and nods. I walk towards the doctor. A young woman in her early thirties gives me a warm smile.

"Hi, I'm Emily. I'm going to be doing your scan today." She leads to a room in the back of the clinic. "Are you excited?"

I sigh and scan the sterile room. "I don't entirely know at the moment. I'm just checking to make sure I actually am pregnant."

She gives me instructions on what to do and to lie on the table when I'm done and place the towel over me. She gives me a sunny smile and leaves the room. I quickly undress my lower half and follow the rest of her instructions, and call her in.

She takes a seat next to the bed and snaps on two latex gloves. "I see you're married. Is your husband coming in soon?"

"Um, he's not my husband. Not yet at least. And no he won't be coming in today. He's currently away for work and doesn't even know I'm here." I mutter, wiggling on the hard table to try and get comfortable.

"Oh, well I hope you have a good wedding and that he takes the news well. If you don't mind me asking, but are you going to tell him over the phone or wait until he comes home?" She sets up her station occasionally glancing at me.

"When he gets home. It probably isn't a good idea to tell him now while he's away. Might get himself killed." I mutter the last part quietly but she picks up on my words.

"Oh is he in the military?"

I stare blankly at the ceiling, wondering what is the best thing to tell this woman. "Something like that."

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