Our Forever (BILLIE EILISH)

- T w o -

August 16th.

Billie's POV:

I don't know what is going on, but Maddie has been waking up at 6 am no alarm. Maddie's always had the most interesting sleep schedules.

Speaking of Maddie, I can tell this Kenzie thing is eating at her. Kenzie is literally her manager, and that should be the one person that Maddie can communicate with, and I hate that Maddie found out about this before tour because this was bothering her the whole time.

The sooner that Maddie does something about this, the sooner this whole thing can blow over and we can all go back to our lives. But Maddie wants to get her whole team established before she basically demotes Kenzie.

I love Maddie with my whole entire heart and I think that's pretty obvious. But I do feel for Kenzie, Kenzie is barely older than us and she got thrown into being the manager of a multi-million dollar teenager so I can see it getting to her head, and with the whole modeling thing falling through, I still blame myself for that a little bit because I'm the reason Maddie didn't do it.

My thoughts look like this quite a bit, I love that Maddie loves me enough to risk her career for me, but this is a little ridiculous. I love that she toured with me, but I wish her relationship with Kenzie wasn't suffering because of it.

That makes me feel some type of way honestly because why was Kenzie so mad that Maddie got to tour with me, the plan was always if London didn't work out, she would go on tour. Maddie filmed a vlog in every city and made sure to push content out, her career didn't suffer at all, if anything it flourished.

I'm starting to think that it has something to do with Kenzie personally, I just wish I could get to the bottom of it without letting Kenzie know that Maddie eavesdropped on that conversation between her and Holden.

Maddie and Claudia have also been going on hikes every morning, Finneas goes sometimes and I've been on one. It just feels like Maddie and I never have alone time anymore, there's always someone here whether it be Holden or someone new from her team.

Maddie and I literally never have a moment alone anymore and it used to not bother me because whoever was here, Maddie and I would always go to sleep together and we would always wake up and have breakfast, but now even our sleep schedules are different.

This is sounding so dramatic, I live with her and I just traveled the world with her for the second time and I'm complaining because she wakes up early.

I'm also nervous with how planning the wedding is going to go, I never thought about what I wanted my wedding to look like, I just knew that I wanted to marry Maddie. I would be happy getting eloped in Vegas, but I know Maddie wants a ceremony so I'm happy to give that to her.

Let me not be bitter because today we're getting our second dog. Obviously, the dog's name is Ilo, that is already decided, that was decided the second Milo walked through the door last year.

I can't believe we've had Milo for almost a year, Milo has gotten so big and I have honestly never loved a dog more.

I'm downstairs in the living room right now, and construction workers just got here. Maddie and Claudia are starting a podcast, and I was told that was a plan before we even left for tour, so that is taking up another guest bedroom.

I am happy that Maddie and Claudia are best friends though, and they trust each other enough to do this. Their podcast name is Homeowners, and I assume they just talk about things that happen in their house? I don't know it wasn't explained to me very well.

What's really getting me though, is that they want me to start recording another album and they haven't given me a date yet. Recording an album takes up damn near every ounce of my time and I'm scared that this is going to intersect with the wedding planning.