Our Forever (BILLIE EILISH)

- T h i r t y s i x -

December 21st

Maddie's POV:

After three months of losing my mind, my life finally feels like it's back on the right track. Billie has been with me a lot, she stayed the night last night even though I know she didn't want to.

I would be completely cool getting back together with Billie right now in this moment, but I understand that she feels bad and wants to make it right. But the sooner I have her back, the sooner my life can finally be back to normal.

It was Billie's birthday a few days ago, she had a small party. It was a debate of whether or not to go because no one knows what happened with the record label besides Finneas and I. I'm not sure why it's a secret, I hate that I missed Billie's party. I saw her after the fact.

As to Milo, however, she made a full recovery and is back to normal. Thank God, getting that call while I was shooting in Malibu was scary especially since I wasn't here. And Nicole being in my house, freaks me out I wouldn't lie.

Speaking of Billie calling me in Malibu, it was perfect timing. Holden and I had already finished shooting, and I cut ties with him romantically completely that same night. I know Holden cares for me, and in another life, he and I were something great, but in this life, Billie is my person and there's no other way about it.

Christmas is coming up in a few days, I've done all my shopping. This is the first year that I've had a Christmas tree in my house and I had a lot of fun decorating it, I did do it by myself.

Even though Billie's back in my life, Holden and I are good, seriously good. Claudia and I still talk. I feel really alone, and holidays suck because I don't have family. I've learned that family doesn't have to be blood, it's about my found family.

...

I've been filming and editing a YouTube video for the majority of the day, just so I can get it done. I was sitting on my couch when the front door opened.

Billie: "Shorty!"

I get up from the couch and rush towards the door so I can hug her.

Maddie: "I miss you."

I didn't say 'missed' because I know when I pull away it's still gonna feel like there's distance between us and I'm going to still miss her.

Billie: "You good?"

Maddie: "Yes, please just hold me."

With that, she dropped her bag, took her shoes off, and carried me to the couch. Never taking a finger off of me.

Maddie: "What'd you do today?"

Billie: "I baked cookies with my mom."

I smiled.

Billie: "What'd you do today?"

Maddie: "Filmed and edited."

Billie: "There are presents for you by the way, at my mom's house, and my house."

Maddie: "Really?"

Billie: "Duh."

She pulled me off laying on her shoulder so she could look at me.

Billie: "Are you sure you're good?"

I nodded.

Billie: "Talk to me."

Maddie: "I thought having you back, I wouldn't feel alone anymore. There's a part of me that still feels alone."

Billie: "Why? I'm here."