Our Forever (BILLIE EILISH)

- T h i r t y f o u r -

December 13th

Maddie's POV:

Billie: "I'm telling you everything."

We walk further into the house, we end up in a bedroom. I'm sitting with my back rested against the head of the bed while she faces me.

Billie: "I did read your journal and I wish I didn't, I saw that you were writing a lot on the plane and I've seen you write before but I don't know why that time felt so different."

I nodded.

Billie: "At the beginning of October I got a phone call from the record label and they were talking about areas where I could bring in revenue for the company and that's when they suggested that I be in a public relationship with Jesse. I told them that I'm publicly engaged and doing that would hurt your career, they didn't care at all though of course. Finneas and I tried to think of a way around it, but there was just no hope."

Maddie: "I'm going to stop you, did you really flirt with Jesse while you were gone everyday?"

She shook her head.

Billie: "Shorty, I practically despise that man. I never saw him at the studio, to be honest."

Maddie: "Okay, I believe you."

Billie: "You do?"

Maddie: "Should I not?"

Billie: "You're taking this better than I thought you would."

Maddie: "Mhm, keep going."

Billie: "While you were in New York with Holden I was staying with Finneas, and I heard podcast audio of you saying that you felt more like a significant other when we weren't engaged, and that tore my heart out."

Maddie: "Why?"

She looked at me.

Maddie: "I look back to September and October, and I didn't realize how miserable I really was. I was doing everything for myself, building my team, planning the wedding which should've been pushed back the first time that I said something about it. You kept saying that I didn't have faith in us, it was never that. I knew, I knew that we couldn't plan a wedding and write an album at the same time. That just wasn't in the cards for us, but yet I still kept trying to make you happy, but in reality it was just draining the fuck outta me."

Billie: "That should've been communicated."

Maddie: "Communicated??? I did nothing but communicate, and you kept shutting me down and reassuring me that we could do it but we couldn't!"

Billie: "All you did was communicate? I had to read your journal to figure out what was going on."

Maddie: "If I communicated how I felt you would've kept reassuring me, you were telling me how you felt but when I communicated, it was always we can get through this, but I really felt like we couldn't but you weren't hearing me."

Billie started to speak but I cut her off.

Maddie: "And the shit in my journal was literally just me word vomiting, the real issues were communicated to you. You just wanted to do what you wanted, no matter how other people felt."

I can see Billie roll her eyes but she just keeps talking.

Billie: "After I heard the podcast recording, Claudia had told me that Finneas had already known about the chances of the record label making me be in a public relationship with Jesse, that caused a fight because he should've told me."

Maddie: "Was he told not to tell you?"

Billie: "I'm not sure, he said that he knew it was a possibility and that he didn't wanna tell me in case the label decided against it."