Book 3/3
Life is finally settling down, the tour ends, and they're back in L.A. Maddie and Billie think their lives are calm, but they never thought about how hard it would be to plan a wedding, and they never realized how much their schedules would...
Billie and I got to Italy last night, which means our wedding is coming very very soon. We have rehearsals to go to. To make sure everything is perfect. Everything is literally perfect right now.
I wanted to book a hotel while we were here but Billie insisted that we get a house, but we have to sleep in separate bedrooms the night before the wedding. I haven't slept alone in months.
I keep catching myself looking back at where I was this time last year, Billie and I had just gotten off tour and neither of us had a single responsibility. I don't know, if you would've told me last year, about the year we had. I don't think that she would believe you.
We've gone through so much in the past year and the fact that we finally get to get married is everything that I have ever wanted.
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madisonvoyage: italyyyyy
billieeilish: my bride 🤭
photosbyholden: 🍾
Billie and I have no wedding responsibilities until tomorrow so we decided to take today to explore the city. I've been to so many different places for Billie, but we've never really gotten to explore the places we've been.
We're walking down Main Street along many tall, specifically built buildings. Her hand wrapped around mine.
Billie: "I can't believe that we're actually here, and our wedding is in 5 days."
Maddie: "Took a lot of perseverance to get here, but I wouldn't have it any other way."
Billie laughed, "I still have no idea what I did to deserve you."
I shrugged, "You finished your wedding vows right?"
Billie: "Yes."
Maddie: "Are you lying?"
Billie: "They're like 80% done."
Maddie: "Billie!"
Billie: "I'm not a writer."
Maddie: "You're a songwriter?"
Billie: "I'm sappy with you all the time, I don't know how to up my sappiness anymore."
Maddie: "We're gonna go back to the house, and you're gonna write exactly how you feel about me."
Billie: "They're 80% done, I just need some finishing touches on it."
Maddie: "Yeah yeah." I smiled.
We ended up back up at our house. Ilo and Milo were immediately at our feet. Of course, we're incorporating the dogs into our wedding. It feels so good to have our whole lives in front of us. Nothing is holding us back anymore.
We're coming back from our honeymoon towards the middle of July, and even though I've been to the doctor and I have anxiety medication I've been doing better. That doesn't stop me from worrying before we left to come here. Billie met with a couple of different record labels and she also sat down with her managers if she wanted to start her own record label.
Music is her passion and I'll never ever want to come in between that.
As for me though, I'm not sure what my career is going to look like when we come home. I'm turning 22 in a couple months and I feel like I've already done everything. I've modeled, I've won awards, I've designed clothes. I've done everything there is to do social media wise.
It's been in the back of my mind for awhile, but I know I want to go to college and I know I eventually want a job that I don't have to rely on others for. I need my videos to do well to make money, I need other people to engage.
I want a job that I can make something of.
The comments never truly get to me, because I don't care and this is my job at the end of the day. People love to be like 'oh what did she do to deserve Billie?' 'Why does Billie like her?' People don't know our story at all, and from an outside perspective, I'm an 'influencer' and I hate that term. But I embrace it nonetheless.
I haven't told Billie about this just because we're about to get married and I don't want our minds even more crowded.
Billie has asked what my career is going to look like when we return and I keep telling her that it's gonna be nonetheless the same, I'll still do YouTube and the podcast of course.
I was in the kitchen and Bille went upstairs to the bedroom to do something, I was staring at my water bottle.
Last time I didn't tell Billie something, it ended with her breaking up with me to fake date a wanna be rockstar.
I walked up the stairs and opened the bedroom door and I see the bathroom light on. I open the door and she's in front of the mirror fixing one of her chains.
Billie: "Miss me already shorty?" She turned to face me smiling.
Maddie: "I think I wanna go to school."
Billie: "Huh?" She's still smiling.
Maddie: "I don't wanna be an influencer forever, and I want an actual job that I can I say I did something for."
Billie: "Okay. What do you wanna major in?" She turned to fully face me.
Maddie: "I don't know, I haven't done any research but I just feel like I've done everything there is to do with my current... profession."
Billie starts to speak but I cut her off.
Maddie: "I feel like I haven't found my passion, so I think if I go to school. I can have the freedom to do what I want."
Billie: "Whatever you wanna do shorty, I'll support it."
Maddie: "Really?"
Billie: "Yes, really." She smiled.
I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her neck. She placed a kiss on my shoulder.
Billie: "Love you."
Maddie: "I love you."
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right
so it is the new year and this BOOK STILL ISNT FINISHED.
