Book 3/3
Life is finally settling down, the tour ends, and they're back in L.A. Maddie and Billie think their lives are calm, but they never thought about how hard it would be to plan a wedding, and they never realized how much their schedules would...
It feels like time is moving so fast, the wedding is completely planned and paid for. Billie keeps asking me if we're sure everything is done. Once we signed the final papers, I stopped stressing about it.
Finneas has been over a lot and Bil and him have been recording a lot. Which shocks me a little bit. After everything that happened with the record label, I would think music is the last thing they would want to do.
Also Claudia and I'spodcast wrapped season 1, and our contract renews at the beginning of August. After Billie and I get back from our honeymoon. We decided on Greece, we're already being extra getting married in Italy, Greece is right next door.
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billieeilish: with everything that's happened in the last year, i owe it to you guys and to myself to release this even if it's independently. not ideal of course, but with time, i have grown to be proud of what me and fin made. anyway, Happier Than Ever is out tonight at midnight on all streaming platforms.
bilsghosts: ironic that it's called Happier Than Ever, when you were indeed, not happier than ever.
billieeilish: @bilsghosts that's the beauty of it. Happier Than Ever to release it and not be weighed down by it anymore. i think it's a beautiful album and i literally put my blood, sweat & TEARS into it. as thrilled as I am to release it, so much burden came with this album. my way of setting it free 🤍
madisonvoyage: very proud of u 🍾
Since Billie and Finneas have been recording so much, and playing around and they actually seem to enjoy what they're doing. They decided to release this album independently, even though 'independent' albums don't get taken as seriously as 'records.' Billie and Finneas will take home every dime for this album.
Money isn't why they did it though.
The songs are great, even though that's not what either of them wanted. The album is sad. The aura about it is sad, the period of their lives, sad. It was just a sad time, Billie said the reason she wanted to release it was to get rid of the weight. It's a reminder that she had no control over what was happening. She was being manipulated, being told what to do, who to talk to, etc.
We're not celebrating the release of this, they simply just want it out of their hands.
I was sitting at the kitchen island waiting for my manager to call me about the cover of Sports Illustrated. I haven't decided when I want to do it but I know I definitely want to.
I've also been on anxiety meds since we got back from Italy and it's literally saved my life. I don't know what happened. Whether it was Kenzie showing up on my doorstep begging forgiveness, or Nicole being in my house while I was shooting. I don't know what the start of it was.
It had to be Nicole, she knows where I live, she's sat on my couch. Everything. She invaded my space.
I was staring at my computer screen when my phone dinged and it my manager telling me that she was gonna be about 20 minutes late calling me, I texted her back telling her it was all good. I went upstairs to bother Billie.
She's in the studio, the red light above the door isn't lit up so she isn't recording, but she is messing around on her piano. She has headphones on and she doesn't hear me come in.
I sat down in the chair that was at the desk, she smiled at me and took her headphones.
Billie: "Hi shorty."
I instantly smiled.
Maddie: "How did I get so lucky?"
Billie: "Did you come in here to be sappy?" She's smiling.
Maddie: "Pfft, no."
She raised her eyebrow at me.
Maddie: "What?" I crossed my arms playfully.
Billie: "Nothing," She put her arms up defensively, "You've been.. real affectionate recently." She's trying to bite back her smile.
Maddie: "Okay? Is that a problem for you?"
Billie: "Oh not at all," She leaned down and picked my feet up off the ground and put them in her lap, also pulling me closer to her.
I was looking at her, I cannot express the amount of love I have for her.
Maddie: "I just love you a lot."
Billie: "How much? On a scale of 1-10."
Maddie: "Infinite."
Billie: "Really?" She's smiling. So big.
Maddie: "Duh."
Billie: "I love you a lot too."
Maddie: "Scale of 1-10?"
Billie: "Infinite." She's rubbing my feet now.
Maddie: "Your album comes out tonight."
Billie: "Finally. This should've been done."
Maddie: "It's getting done, and I think that's all that matters. I know that album didn't go the way you wanted at all, and despite everything, it truly is beautiful."
Billie: "You would say that it was beautiful even if you hated it." She laughed.
Maddie: "You've never played me something I haven't liked."
Billie: "I don't know shorty, it's easy for you say that it's good, because you hear the music and my voice. When I hear this album, all I think about is all the damage it did, and how hard I worked and how I'm literally not proud of it, so I can only imagine what the fans are going to feel."
Maddie: "The fans are going to like it, I know they are."
She just shrugged.
It absolutely pains me that Billie isn't that confident in this album, I truly think that it's beautiful. I'll love whatever Billie makes because I love her. It does make me sad that she looks at this album as such a burden.
There was a lot of damage caused, but not because of the album it was because of the record label. I wish I could make Billie look past it but she can't. I wish I was more present for this album. Maybe that would've helped. We were both caught up in our own lives.
Billie: "What are you thinking?"
Maddie: "I wish I could make you look past the pain that this album caused because it really is something special."
Billie: "I'm glad that you can feel that way shorty. Maybe I'll feel that way with time, just right now I'm happy to get it out of my hair and off my back."
I nodded.
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this is going to be done by the new year, trust me!
