Letters From Comet

149 | Messenger

MESSENGER

Mom
10:43 PM

Mom?

Given, darling. What is it?

Have you already talked to Comet or should I do it for you?

We've been... talking through text messages because I don't know how to face him after learning the truth about you and his Uncle Dad.

I'm sorry, anak. This is all my fault.

Can I just... ask why you did it?

I know we were never perfect as a family but back when I was younger, I definitely saw love in both your and Dad's eyes.

Where did it go, Mom? How did the both of you ended up cheating on each other?

And why did it have to be Comet's family, of all people? Bakit sa guy pa na gusto ko?

Why do I have to be in pain and in so much guilt like this, Mom? Why do I always have to sacrifice something for the sake of others?

I'm tired na po. So, so tired, Mommy.

When do I ever get to be happy?

Your Dad and I's love started to fade when your... baby brother died. I know you remember me being pregnant when you were just eight years old and Grace was six. That was supposed to be my last pregnancy especially after knowing that it was a human boy growing inside my body.

But after we lost him due to an accident, it just felt like your Dad and I started to be apart from each other. We couldn't find the comfort we once shared from our being together so we looked for it from other people.

Maybe our love was just too shallow to be able to stand up against that storm that came over our marriage.

I don't want to explain myself any longer, actually. Kasi alam kong mahihirapan ka lang tanggapin na sa gano'n nag-umpisa ang lahat.

And why Comet's family? Because we once dated back in college. Back then I didn't know that we will make a sin from repetitive encounters but... it just happened.

At ang magagawa ko lang ngayon ay humingi ng tawad sa'yo para sa lahat ng bigat at sakit na nararamdaman mo dahil sa mga maling desisyon namin ng Daddy mo simula noong bata ka pa.

I'm sorry for burdening you so much, anak. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

What do I do now?

Gusto ko si Comet, Mommy. I like him so much that thinking about how we should end what we have because of your connection with his Uncle Dad hurts me to the point of losing hope about our situation.

I want to be selfish for once, but I am in a dilemma because the baby inside your tummy is still my sibling and being together with Comet means robbing the tiny human inside you the privilege to have a complete family.

I experienced being in a scarred and traumatizing family set up and it was so, so hard. I don't want your child to suffer from all the things that almost killed me, Mommy.

What do I do po ba? How should I deal with this ba?

You don't have to think of that things, anak. You don't have to sacrifice your happiness again. Comet's Uncle Dad and I decided to end things between us for good.

For once, we knew that what we did was wrong. Huli na kung tutuusin kasi nawala na 'yong asawa niya while your Dad is in the hospital. May anak din kami na dinadala ko.

Pero ayaw na kitang pahirapan, Given. You've been through so much and for once, I should give way for you.

Kasi ako ang Nanay mo at maniwala ka man o hindi, gusto kong bumawi sa'yo at pasayahin ka.

Trevor also thought of the same thing. He doesn't want to give Comet a hard time anymore. He just wants to go back to his life before meeting me again.

We made ourselves believe that we were meant to be as we met again for the second time when the truth is we only sinned against a lot of people and that was wrong of us. Gusto naming ayusin kung kaya pa, anak.

And the baby? What are you planning to do with that? You will let him grow up with an incomplete family?

Alam kong hindi niyo pa siya tanggap but we can be his family, anak. He can be the baby brother that you lost years ago. He can be the son I lost years ago.

Because your Dad also ended things with his woman and he was on his way to get me when the accident happened. We will fix our marriage, anak. We will fix this family.

But Comet's Uncle Dad is the baby's father. How are you going to explain that to him?

Worry for future things once they're here. For now, go and talk to Comet, okay?

Chase what matters to you the most and don't let that happiness go.

Mom...

Go ahead, anak. I'll see you later.
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