𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 | s. lopez + b. pierce

Mattress

"Where's Rachel?" Kurt asked as he set a stack of yearbooks down on the piano.

"She's not here yet," Jayden said from where she stood between Santana and Brittany.

"Perfect," said Kurt. "Glee Club stands on a delicate precipice. We have all felt the cold humiliation of a slushie in the face. But as of right now, our relative anonymity as a club shields us from more severe persecution. Swirlies, patriotic wedgies."

"What's a patriotic wedgie?" Mercedes frowned.

"It's when they hoist you up the flagpole by your undies," Finn answered as Jayden shuffled closer to Brittany, who put an arm around her and glared at Puck, who had stood by and watched as she received a patriotic wedgie that morning.

"Strangely, it did make me feel more American," Artie shrugged.

"I would've rather had a slushie tossed in my face," Jayden pouted. "I have a fear of heights. I thought the rope was gonna break and drop me to my death. At least with slushies I don't have to worry about dying."

"Let me guess. Azimio and Karofsky?" Santana asked.

"Yeah," Jayden nodded as she leaned into Brittany and wrapped her arms around her waist. "I hate them."

"They better run, or else Snixx is gonna have to take care of them," Santana grumbled as she tightened her ponytail and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Based on my investigation, I am of the opinion that a yearbook photo would only fuel the flames of anti-Glee Club terror," Kurt said as he opened up one of the yearbooks. "I've done a little library research. Peter Gellar. Glee Club second tenor, 1998. He can be seen here with both a drawn on Hitler mustache and a rice paddy hat. Shortly after the yearbook came out, Mr. Gellar had a nervous breakdown. He is now the homeless man who sleeps in front of the public library."

"Patches?" Quinn gasped.

"Patches," Kurt nodded.

"He barked at Guppy the other day when Santana and I took her to the library to help her study," said Brittany.

"He's scary," Jayden mumbled with wide eyes.

"He's lucky I didn't beat him up right then and there," Santana said, popping her neck with her usual pissed off stare.

"Exhibit B. Tawny Peterson, Glee Club class of 2000," Kurt continued as he flipped to a page in another Thunderclap. "Seen here in her photo with a cartoon knife stuck in her head, in a macabre tableau that, in four years, would prove eerily prescient. I think I speak for all of us when I say that not having to pose for a yearbook photo might be a blessing in disguise. I suggest not fighting Figgins' ruling."

"Oh, hey, guys," Mr. Schue smiled as he walked into the choir room. "Ah, looking at old Thunderclaps?"

"I'm gonna have nightmares," Jayden pouted.

"It's really unsettling," Artie said, nodding in agreement.

"And totally unfair," Mr. Schue said as Jayden furrowed her brows and exchanged an uneasy look with Brittany. "Hey, can I borrow one of these?" he asked as he took one of the yearbooks from Kurt. "You know what? This year's Thunderclap is going to have a Glee Club photo with every one of your smiling faces. You have my word on it."

As Mr. Schue left the room, the New Directions all exchanged worried looks with one another.

"We're gonna be killed," Jayden whined as she turned to bury her face in Brittany's chest, the taller girl holding her close to her.

****

Much to the club's objections, they had been given a page in the yearbook, but Mr. Schue had to compromise to do it. It was decided that the Glee Club would vote for two team captains to represent them.