𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 | s. lopez + b. pierce

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a/n - !! trigger warning !! from here on out there will be mentions of eating disorders and the thoughts that come with them. i will be using my own experiences with EDs as well as research i've done to make this as realistic as possible. trigger warnings will be at the top of chapters where those topics will be heavily featured.

It's weird how one kiss can make everything more confusing than it already is.

After it happened, they both moved on and acted like it was nothing. At least, Brittany thought Jayden had moved on, when really it kept her awake at night as she overthought every little thing about it.

Friends don't kiss, but they weren't anything more than that.

They'd never be anything more than "just friends."

What if that kiss changes their friendship for the worse?

These were the thoughts that filled Jayden's head every night, and she was so terrified it was going to affect her friendship with the blonde cheerleader that she isolated herself from her a little more with each day that passed.

That made her sad, especially since they had been so close.

"Ladies, what we have here is a grade-A dilemma."

Sue Sylvester's voice brought Jayden out of her thoughts. She called her, Kurt, and Mercedes to her office during that morning's Cheerios practice to talk to them about something important.

"Mercedes, your vocal chords have had more fantastic runs than a Kenyan track team, but that look simply will not do," said Sue. "At first I thought it was a subtle homage to yours truly, but now I fear it's some sort of ironic comment."

"Miss Sylvester, I'm just not comfortable in those Cheerios skirts," Mercedes admitted, sighing. "They don't fit me right."

"Mercedes, you shouldn't feel embarrassed about your body," Kurt reassured his best friend.

"Embarrassed?" Mercedes frowned. "No, no. I'm worried about showing too much skin and causing a sex riot," she said as she and Kurt chuckled and wiggled their fingers together.

"How do you two not have a show on Bravo?" Sue sarcastically asked. "Here's the skinny. Splits! magazine, after much campaigning by one Sue Sylvester, has named me cheerleading coach of the last 2,000 years."

"But they didn't even have cheer coaches 2,000 years ago," Jayden mumbled confusedly.

"Not the point," said Sue. "In seven days, reporter Tracy Pendergrass will arrive on campus, and my new star singer will have lost 10 pounds and be in a gender appropriate cheerleading uniform, or she is off the team."

"10 pounds?" Jayden gasped.

"Are you serious?" Kurt frowned.

"You could stand to lose a few too, kiddo," Sue said to Kurt. "You got hips like a pear." She turned to Jayden. "And you. You're short, which means any weight you gain is going to be very noticeable. You can't eat tater tots, hot dogs, and double chocolate chip brownies for lunch everyday and think you can get away with it."

"It was a vegan hot dog," said Jayden. "That means it's healthier, right?"

"Can't be that healthy if you're putting on pounds," Sue shrugged as the freshman insecurely wrapped her arms around herself. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to put in a call to the Ohio secretary of state notifying them I will no longer be carrying photo ID. You know why? People should know who I am."

****

Jayden stared at herself in the mirror of the school bathroom. She turned to the side and rubbed her hands over her stomach before turning to the other side and then back to the front. She took a few steps back, lifting her legs up a little to examine her thighs. She lifted up her Cheerios top a bit and pinched at the skin of her stomach.