Infatuation | yungBlud

18

Luna Warrington

Dom was missing he'd been gone since noon and no one knew where he was, I tried not to be clingy to him but I couldn't help but text him here and there as me, Adam and Emily sat around the table in his dinning room. A thought had crossed my mind why does he even need a dinning room? He's never going to use it I've never once sat down for a formal meal with him or anyone in the team in my life and it seemed kinda pointless to me.

But through the last two weeks I've noticed nothing about this apartment screamed ' dom ' as I haven't left the same 4 walls these past couple weeks, it was all too clean and modern for his taste, he just used it for tour by the looks of it but it made me sad in a way like his only true home was back in Doncaster. His bedroom back home in Doncaster was littered with postered of David Bowie and the Rolling Stones.

His room was filled with old records, idols he looked up too. Through the two weeks we spent there I found myself playing a couple records, as we danced around the room together not a single whisky bottle or white powdered line in sight but now we were in a modern apartment with clean silk sheets and liquor bottles as decor, memories from the two weeks we spent in Doncaster flood my mind as my heartaches to be back in that simpler time with Dom.

Before the panic attacks, before finding out I was pregnant, before all hell broke loose and our world came crumbling down. I'm merely sitting the rubble of what was once our happy life together, I really wish we could catch a break.

Since the second we laid eyes on one another it's like destiny was putting us through the runner to see how much we could take mentally and physically, it felt like we were Romeo and Juliet reincarnated as the star crossed lovers. 

I kept checking my phone to see if Dom had messages me, I couldn't help it I was worried. I wasn't worried he was tangled up in somebody else but more anxious he's be found dead from an overdose at this point.

This was week 3 of him being completely intoxicated, I barely even recognised him as a person, he wasn't himself he was cold to me and others around him. He barely spoke to me shutting me out completely, he barely ever came home this past week he'd return maybe for one to two hours to crash on his bed only to be awoken by screams from his own inner torment and nightmares.

I tried my best to comfort him but he swatted me away like I was more of a nuisance to him, I tried my best to hold it together and not fall apart but when he got up out of bed not even looking me in the eyes anymore and slowly staggering towards a bottle of whiskey instead of my arms I couldn't help but feel a pang of hurt in my chest.

He walked out of the door wearing the same clothes he wore two days before, it had become increasingly harder to get him to bathe and change, the first week was okay he listened to me a little bit and ate but as the drug and alcohol consumed him whole he was barely even Dom anymore.

He smelt of stale alcohol and cigarettes, he didn't even try hide the drugs anymore. I'd wake up to white lines on the counter tops of the bedside table, and pills littering the bathroom counter tops.

When I tried to address it he just shook his head grabbed his gear and walked away, like I didn't understand but I understood Dom what it's like to have demons inside your head, when you can't run anywhere because what's hurting you the most is inside, I understood that more then anyone Dom but you've shut me out leaving a chill to my bones in your absence.

I barely checked social media but when I did I saw people ripping him to shreds on his past Instagram post comments, comments that read:

" I looked up to you for love and acceptance but you've ruined that you're nothing but a lair "