Just Peachy

- Chapter Thirty Two -

"Listen, I'm here for you." Sara sighed out. A small frown placed on her lips. I knew she was as in just as much pain as I was.

It was as if Julia Manuel was dead to us, just a ghost in our memories. She was my ghost, always haunting my mind. I was constantly thinking about her hands on my body. Her sweet compliments, her stupid humour that I would laugh at without fail.

Sara and I had been there for each other, we had both just essentially lost the most important person to the both of us.

It was tough, we had to mourn the Julia we once knew. She'd never be fully ours again. She was locked in what felt like a medieval tower.

"I know... thank you," I sighed and squeezed her hand gently. She nodded.

A few minutes had went by and we still hadn't let go of each other's hands. She was the perfect comfort I needed in this moment. She knew exactly what I was going through.

Sara and I had reached out and we began to support each other in ways that none of our friends could. We quickly had grown close throughout the ordeal. Complete radio silence from Julia pushed us together.

For all I know she's dead. She could be dead and I'd have no clue

She's never coming back. And no one else understands that feeling other than Sara.

It's comforting having her. She had been coming down to my place and watching stuff with me. We'd joke around and even though she thought I hadn't noticed, the lingering stares and touches also grew oddly comforting as well towards the two week mark.

I miss Julia. But I've started to miss Sara when she's away so I don't even know anymore. I wanted a girlfriend and found a friend instead.

"Try and avoid the news right now, there will probably be some tabloid about them. I don't want you to put yourself through that. You don't deserve this."

It's not up to Julia but I can't help but complain she never did more. She gave up on us so quickly.

"I miss her so much Sara," I take a quick breath in, a small whistle escaping through my teeth, "she smells like you and it's torture having that reminder."

"That's because mine's is better obviously." She jokes and I shake my head, our conversation slowly falling flat. Not in an awkward way at all, just us enjoying the moment.

"Hmm, I mean I did really like it on Julia," I smile and lean slightly towards her, my face closer to her neck, taking in the scent.

"Oh, I can get you a bottle then," she relaxed once I leant back. I smile at her and she nervously smiles back before shifting her gaze towards her hands in her lap. "Hey, listen... I'm glad we have each other."

"Me too, Sara. It's a shame this is what brought us together but I'm more than happy to make the best out of a bad situation," She nods in agreement.

The silence fell upon us in a blanket. A comforting warm blanket. One that you could express any emotion without judgement.

That blanket grew more weighted, the air had shifted and I noticed Sara's eyes shift to my lips.

This blanket will only cause more problems than good. Although, it was exciting to see where it would go.

And then that blanket was lifted. She cupped my cheek, pressing her lips to mine. I let my eyes shut and savour this selfish moment. This idiotic, regretful moment caused by a non existent blanket.

She pulled back when I felt her tongue graze across my lip, "I am so sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

I looked at her in a daze, my mind still sorting the events before I realised I had pulled her back against my lips, as I kissed her back and more aggressively.

We needed this.

It's fine.

No one will know but us.

My body moved in autopilot when I began to straddle her, her hands moving to cup my ass.

"This is a bad idea," she pulled away and said.

"Mhm." Was all that left my mouth before I pulled her back to me. Desperate for a distraction.

"Eden, this is a really bad idea," She breathily said between kisses.

"I don't see you stopping?" I smile into the kiss before she pulled back.

"I am stopping. We can't." She looked at me painfully.

I look in her eyes, my eyebrows knit and I let my eyes shut when I realised what she really felt. "I'd only hurt you in this situation wouldn't I?" When I opened my eyes again, she refused to look at me and started getting up, I slumped to the side, watching her every move.

"You love Julia, I was a fool there. It's fine, silly crushes don't matter anyways," my eyes widen at her statement and she wraps her hijab again before she grabbed my house keys, "I'll be back."

And then it was one.

Just me in my living room staring at a bland door, one that a gorgeous and kind woman had just left. We'd only hurt each other in the end. If we started anything, I would still prioritise Julia and do it for the fun, she would still like me and have her feelings hurt in the end.

I think a few hours went by? I wouldn't know.

I had been sat on my couch, not moved other than to hold my knees against my chest.

"Eden?" I heard the sweet familiar voice of Sara. She smiles over at me, lifting a grocery bag that clinked together. "We're going to have a good night whether we want to or not!"

I'm fucked.

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hey guys! i'm sorry for the word vomit that is about to commence

i have some news... i turned 18 in january yay! but I also had the discovery about 8 months ago now that i no longer identified as lesbian, i don't feel the need to put a label tbh.

thank you so much for reading my book that i first wrote when i was 13 and originally published when i was 16. i'm excited to show you my future works at a better quality than i ever have before.