All The Kings Men

Chapter 44 Queens Thoughts

The day seemed to turn into a blur. Servants busily ran around me. Doctors within a 50 mile radius arrived by order of the king. Silas passed back and forth waiting to hear word. He sent out 25 of his best men on a search party for Cousin Matthew. I hated him. I knew at that ball, so many months ago he was up to know good. I wish I would have trusted my instinct. Maybe if I had said something to Silas I could have changed Peters fate.

We did our best to entertain all our Christmas guests but it was so very hard to keep our minds away from what we knew was taking place a few rooms away.  Peter was in the fight for his life. The castle physician was not optimistic about his chances of surviving his wound.

I tried to stay calm for my child's health but I feared my heart would pound out of my chest at any minute. Peter had grown to occupy a space in my heart I didn't fully understand. Was it love ? Lust? Just a close friend ? We hadn't even began to explore it. I didn't even know if I too took residence in his mind. All I knew in this moment was I didn't want him to die.

I felt guilty for stealing a kiss just hours ago with someone else. I wasn't even sure what had come over me. The knowledge that my supposed to be husband occupied these walls as well had begun to weigh on me. Of course with the state of Peters health I couldn't even bring myself to even touch those thoughts right now.

"Queen Thea." Rosemary approached me. "I only have a second to tell you...my brother was planning to send Fiona away after the holiday....our....new knowledge of her..conduction....needs to have a way to that condition."

"For god sake Rose I know it's important but not here." I shushed her. "I'll meet you tonight. Midnight behind the walls."

She nodded and we both stiffened as Mother Queen Elizabeth approached us. "Rosemary Edmund would like to finish our walk that got interrupted."

Rosemary cast me a glance of annoyance. "Yes mother." I wondered how king Prince Edmund would wait to ask her for her hand. Or shall I say ask Silas.

Speaking of my sinful husband seemed to have known my thoughts were of him. He approached me. "I haven't heard anything yet of Peter."

"I would have thought you would have made an Announcement if you did." I replied coldly. I hated how mean hearted he had began to make me. I didn't want to be bitter. Everything his father had put me through and now everything he had...it just didn't sit well with me. I couldn't help but he molded into something against my kind nature.

"I am not blind." He lowered his voice. "I know you and Peter have grown to be friends. I know what has happened to him hurts you...I know what I have done hurts you...I just want to make sure you are okay."

"Don't you think it's too late for that?" I replied with ice in my voice. "This baby is set to arrive in a few short months...I've done everything for you for this kingdom. Don't you think the least you may do is just leave me alone."

I watched as my words drained the last bit of hope from his eyes. He nodded, bowed and departed from me. I hated him. I did not want this to be my marriage. I did not want this to be how things were between us. But I had done everything to make him happy. It was too late to much.

"How are you doing ?" I was so lost in glaring after Silas I did not see Hannah and Jasmine approach me.

I eyed Jasmine. For a second I had forgot about her. She had an unsettling smirk on her face. "I am...as expected. I feel awful this is how everyone is spending their Christmas."

"Most of our guests are well into their first bottle of wine. I think they all are having a great time." Hannah encouraged me.

"Oh I don't know what I would do without you old friend." I smiled at her. I turned to Jasmine still trying to read her expression. "How are you doing ?"