All The Kings Men

Chapter 56 Queens Thoughts

It had been several quite months of winter. The cold seemed to make our kingdom go into a slumber of peace and no drama. It was most welcoming to finish out the last few weeks with my pregnancy.

I couldn't stand anything or anymore. Throwing up all night, no way to get comfortable, not fitting into any of my dresses. I had practically hid myself in my room for the last month because I didn't want to wear anything but my underwear. I'd been avoiding Silas like crazy. He came to check on me often but I told my maids I didn't want to see him. Partly because I was still angry with him about Fiona but mostly because I felt guilty about Felix...although Silas has always been unfaithful to me, I never have to him. I never wanted to be. But given the circumstance that he didn't want me. That he preferred all the kings men over me...well I think God might forgive me.

"Thea?" Hannah called out to me, I hadn't even heard her come in. "Thea are you okay?"

I turned to her wrapping my robe tighter around me. "No. I feel fat and I'm over being pregnant."

She giggled. "Farah said you would reach that point remember?"

"Yes I suppose she did." I sighed rubbing my belly. "How is she ?"

"She's worried about you." Hannah replied approaching me. "She wanted to know if she could come for the birth? To help you through it ?"

"That would be most welcomed." I perked up at the idea. "Will you send for her ? And get a maid to accommodate her children ?"

"Of course." Hannah replied.

"How are my siblings doing ?" I asked feeling guilty I haven't checked on them in a few days.

"They are settling just fine." Hannah rubbed my arm. "Tara and Titus are doing well in their school work and Talitha has adjusted well in your etiquette classes. There is no need to feel guilty. They understand you do not feel well and this baby could come any day."

I sighed. "I probably should get some fresh air."

"Are you feeling up for it?" Hannah asked.

"I'll do my best to look presentable enough." I laughed. "Meet me in the gardens in an hour ?"

"Sounds like a lovely morning. Spring has really set in. The flowers are all in bloom and it's warm enough for no cloaks." Hannah smiled.

I smiled at her happy demeanor. "I haven't seen you like this since before the brothel...William has been good for you."

Her smile quickly faded into an unreadable expression. I immediately felt as if I had said something wrong but couldn't understand what. She excused herself before I could question her.
Hannah's wedding was only a few weeks away. I prayed she wasn't second guessing herself.

Hurrying to get dressed I made my way down our hall and out onto the patio. For the first time in almost Two months I set eyes on Silas. He looked well rested and in good spirits, busily chatting to the church helper..what was her name? I couldn't remember. She never was at the chapel when i was.

Upon seeing me Silas approached me. "My Queen..I am pleasantly surprised to see you up this morning. I have missed seeing that beautiful face of yours. How are you feeling ?"

No mater how much time passed I still couldn't deny how very heartbroken I was over him. Or maybe it was just the knowledge of all my efforts were a failure. I wasn't sure but it still stung just as much. We hadn't talked in months and I truly didn't know where we stood.

"I am feeling better then I have this entire month." I replied.

"This is such sweet news to my ears." He replied.