The Soul of a Dragon

Chapter 38

A little longer than a week ago - before the gang went to find Vara

Valka

I softly knock on the wooden door and call out my son's name whilst waiting in front of his (still not completely finished) hut. Ever since Vara's been gone, I have noticed a change in my son's behaviour. He has become more...silent. Distant. Absentminded. I may not give myself a best-mother-of-this-millennium award, but I do see when my own flesh and blood is hurting inside.

Tightlipped, I sigh as there is no response. Again. Worry clouds my mind.

With a single but miniscule movement of my staff, I ask Cloudjumper to use his fine-tuned skills to open the door. Slightly crooning in answer, he opens the door within mere moments.

"Thanks, my friend," I nod and enter the dark hut. There is no light, so I need to squint my eyes to adjust them to the darkness. Subconsciously, I crinkle my nose at the stuffy air in this hut. It reeks of...

That's when I notice my poor son lie face-down on the floor, legs and arms spread out as if he fell asleep mid-movement. Hesitantly, I walk closer to him. The closer I get, the more I smell the alcohol.

I grimace in pain.

"Oh my sweet boy," I whisper. Crouching down, I softly stroke his head. "Alcohol is never the solution."

I know I haven't been around for the majority of his life, but my mother's instinct is telling me to protect him; to help him find his happiness. The urge to do so is so strong and my heart clenches at the sight of him like this. But he is still my beautiful baby boy. If only he knew what a magnificent man he has become – much like his father, but also like me. The first time I saw myself in him, I almost burst out in tears of joy.

"Vara," Hiccup mumbles suddenly. "Vara, stay...d-don't leave me...I need y-you."

I stroke his head again to ease his thoughts. It seems to work, I realise as his frown vanishes and he continues to sleep peacefully.

I feared it would come to this. It doesn't take a mother to see the kind of connection Hiccup and Vara share. He lights up every time she's near – but so does she when he's around. All of the subtle, yet obvious glances with nothing but love in their eyes. I saw it from the moment Vara came to Berk. It reminds me of Stoick and I.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

After swallowing deeply, my shaky whisper breaks the silence, "Stoick, my dear, help our son. Give him strength. He needs your guidance."

Present time

Hiccup

I don't know why but as the explosion turns the air into smoke and dust, my own thoughts take me back to the nights I spent drinking bottle after bottle, alone in my hut. I remember Toothless coming back from looking after Aria, and the worry staining his face. The disappointment.

I disappoint everybody. I fail. I am a failure.

At the next memory flashback, I clench my eyes shut although people around me are screaming. But their voices don't really enter my mind, they sound muffled. I just see that cliff again – with me standing at the edge, looking down at the crashing ocean waves, feeling the harsh wind bite at my ears, and thinking: is all of this really worth it anymore?

But then, one voice in particular tears me from my thoughts. The one voice that never fails catch my interest; to control my entire being.

Vara is yelling. Screaming. Her voice is shrill, sharp, and the fear underlining it can be noticed unmistakeably.