The Soul of a Dragon

Chapter 43

Vara

I did not expect him to look like this. Well, I saw him during that fight. But seeing him standing idly in front of me...I can really take in his appearance.

The Hiccup I know is gone - the Hiccup that has sneaked his way into my heart. The chief, the warrior, the friend of dragons. My...friend. All gone. Only the broken shell of a man I once knew remains. It scares me to see him like this. His eyes that I have to come love because of their forest glow are swallowed by the dark rings underneath them. Those soft and loving green eyes that have taken me in and ruined me for good ever since I first looked into them. He hasn't shaven in a long time for a significant stubble covers the lower half of his face. Those high cheekbones are hollow now as if he hasn't eaten in days. Once full and a kissable shade of pink, his lips are now a thin pale line. And that hair...that full, vibrant, and messy chestnut brown I admired everyday in the sunlight or in the shimmer of the moon; it is now dull and knotted.

Where did our Hiccup go?

I clear my throat and fiddle with the hem of my vest. I am surprised I dare to walk closer to him and look him in those numb eyes. Fuck, it looks like he's given up on life.

"Hello, Hiccup," I say almost too quietly but I know he hears me. He does not answer. He does not even open his mouth. For Thor's sake, he doesn't move a single muscle. I worry and step closer. Almost, almost I touch his forearm but I choose against it. "Hiccup?"

I wait and wait, my head spinning and my heart thundering. But nothing.

Then, all of the sudden, agonisingly slow, he turns his head to the left to where a table and a bench are standing. With three steps so brittle and weak, his limp more noticeable than ever, he walks over to the bench and sits down. I follow my instinct and come to stand in front of him, leaning down a little to search for eye contact. For anything to cling onto. But nothing.

I look at him, disappointment masking the hurt I feel inside. I know I have hurt him. I know that. But I wish I could explain myself. He was the only one who understood why I had to do what I did. Did I lose his trust, though? I realise I shouldn't have flown away after I left Grimmel. I should have gone with the gang. With him. Or at least explained. I hurt them. I hurt him. And I can only hope he can forgive and welcome me like our friends did before. But it seems like something has happened. The way he looks right now cannot be my fault, right? I punch myself internally because I am making this about myself, when I should be focusing on my hurting friend.

I sigh. Moveless and utterly paralysed, Hiccup sits there with his arms resting on his upper legs. From the looks of it – of this – I sense that we won't be talking today. Shaking my head, I want to turn around and walk away from this apparently mute man. I don't know if I can hide the chaos of emotions I feel any longer, so I plan to talk to him tomorrow. However, before I can leave, a pair of strong hands grabs my waist and pulls me towards its source. Hiccup wraps his strong arms around me, tightly, and hides his face in my vest. His hold strengthens even more, like he's in midst the rough sea and I am a lifesaving rock.

"I would do anything for you, you know that", a whisper as soft and fleeting as a summer breeze but as striking and cutting as a winter storm. I suck in a breath to steady my heart. His face is hidden behind curtains of hair falling down its side. But I can tell he has his eyes pinched shut. And when he finally looks up at me, they are red and lined with tears. The forest green is now as dark as the night. Seeing him like this, it feels like someone is tearing out my organs. The only time I have felt pain worse than this was when I saw Aria wounded and bleeding on the deck of Grimmel's ship.

I smile tenderly as tears are fighting their way through my stubbornness. "I know", I whisper back, "I would, too."

We don't say anything else. Instead, he pulls me closer and I let myself fall completely onto his lap. We stay like that for an unstoppable, frozen eternity. My arm slung around his neck, my nose buried in the side of his neck with his chin resting on my forehead. One strong arm of his steading my middle, the other at the back of my head.

I never want to leave. I never want this to end.

Fishlegs

The happiness of having a member of our group back home is still pouring through my body. But my mind is already somewhere else. In the safety of my hut, the warm light of candles accompanies me whilst I am searching for my notes that are scattered somewhere in this mess. I can faintly hear rain starting to tap against the windows and the fireplace crackling in the background. Searching, searching, searching. I release a frustrated groan. A few days back, I made a massive and exciting discovery. I wanted to tell Hiccup immediately but he hasn't been the same. And Vara wasn't here, so I couldn't talk to her either. I need to share this information.

But first-

I need to find those Thor-forsaken notes.