The Soul of a Dragon

Chapter 41

Malcom

"I hate you", she whispers almost incomprehensibly, and I nearly lose myself in the liquid movements of our bodies - the way they fit together like two broken pieces that were searching for each other their entire lives.

"What was that?" I purr. And with that I grab her hair and thrusts into her. Hard.

She cannot hold back her screaming but manages to bite out in-between, "I-...Hate-...You."

I smirk as silken-soft and dangerous as the night. Fuck, she drives me crazy.

Slowing down the thrusting to a more rhythmic motion, I savour the sound of her moaning and lean down further to whisper sensually into her ear, "I know you do, baby."

A sudden, ear-deafening roar startles me awake, causing me to sit up straight and hit my head against the stone roof of this very (and I mean very, very) narrow cave that Fireblaster and I found last night.

Last night.

"Fuck," I curse under my breath and cover my face with my hands. I groan at the image of Vara standing in front of me, telling me to leave. But it were those last words that really got me. I wish you would have told me sooner, Mal.

I groan again, trying to hide the pain that so clearly pierces my heart. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

And of course my brain needs to fuck with me too by making me dream of her – a sex dream, out of all things.

Fuck. My. Life.

I squint against the bright sunlight outside. At least the weather's got a good mood.

A shadow flies past the small opening of the cave a few times. I know it's Fireblaster, impatiently waiting for me to wake up. I bet he 'accidentally' roared his balls off just to wake me up.

Still trying to come to my senses, I rub my face and run my fingers through my messy hair. I am not a morning person and I never will be, that's for sure.

I now notice the pain on my forehead and curse at the miserable existence of Malcom Vass. Slowly and carefully this time, I sit up as much as I can (which is not a lot, I am practically still lying on the ground). Then, I notice something...and one look shows the consequences of that steamy dream. Great.

I ignore it and step (or crawl) outside to find Fireblaster wiggling his tail like a puppy in excitement to see me. He makes me smile whether I want to or not and attacks me with one of his giant hugs. Those hugs almost squeeze the life out of me but I never grow tired of them.

My growling stomach reminds me of the fact that I haven't had decent food in days. So, I pack my stuff into the satchels of Fireblaster's saddle to head for a market nearby since I still have some money from selling 'borrowed' clothes. I know I need to leave the Archipelago. Hell, I need to go to another continent because I can't stay here any longer, knowing she's here too.

"Malcom."

I am not even surprised and that amazes me. Before slowly turning around, I take a deep breath to stay calm. I repeat: I am not a morning person.

At the sight of my true love's true love (confusing, I know), I need to clench my fists into balls to stop myself from punching his face. What makes it even worse is that I liked him. I still do, I guess. Hiccup is a decent man, a loyal friend, and a strong chief that people easily look up to. I think I have envied him since the first moment I met him. I especially envy the way things come naturally to him. And the way things don't to me.

"Hello, Hiccup," I finally say, staying on the safe side by keeping my distance.

"I-...," he struggles to finish his words. By the second, Hiccup seems to grow more restless. Whatever he has to say to me, it doesn't come easily and it bothers him. But that doesn't make me nervous – not after yesterday, after that pain.

"I overheard you talking to Vara yesterday."

I did not expect that, though. And as much as I just thought I was calm, the memories are too fresh to ignore. I wish you would have told me sooner, Mal.

Not knowing how to answer, I remain silent. Thankfully, Hiccup draws a breath to speak.

"Thank you."

What? This day just keeps surprising me. Maybe I misheard. It's early in the morning and because of that...torturous dream, I didn't get much rest. So, I ask confused, "T-thank you?"

"Yes," he answers and I can see him struggling against the words by clenching his jaw, "for not mentioning Vara towards Grimmel when you first found her. And for protecting her and Berk ever since."

I nod, not knowing what else to say to that.

"It's difficult, you know. Liking you and hating you at the same time. You betrayed us and I despise you for that. But after what I heard you say...I understand, at least."

I swallow hard and nod again. Behind me I can hear Fireblaster and Toothless playing in the woods, unaware of the serious conversation.

Hiccup clears his throat and avoids looking me in the eye. His voice flat and stiff, he says, "You love her?"

There is no need to lie any more. I shove down the thought of her but my voice almost fails me, "Yes."

At that one word, Hiccup looks at me and I can see the emotional chaos raging inside of him. Anger. Frustration. Hurt. Jealousy. But also understanding. Empathy.

Seeing that, I swallow down my own feelings and straighten up a little to say dryly, "I am leaving."

"Leaving?" Hiccup asks, a little surprise in his tone.

"Yes. I am leaving the Archipelago. I've wanted to go back to my travelling-the-world days for a long time now but I got...preoccupied." I pinch my eyes shut for a split moment because the pain is still there. "Since there is no reason for me stay here, I decided to no longer be a problem. Actually, I was just about to take off when you arrived."

Hiccup doesn't say anything and we stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. The words we've spoken lie thick in the air between us.

The chief stays silent. So, tight-lipped, I nod and turn to call for Fireblaster. In one swift motion, I heave myself onto his back but I look over my shoulder one last time.

"Take care of her, Hiccup."