The Soul of a Dragon

Chapter 65

Malcom

Grief is a strange, hollow thing. It eats away at you slowly, a constant ache that never quite dulls. I sit on the edge of the cliff, the wind tugging at my hair, and clutch a small locket in my hand. Inside is a sketch of Vara, something I have kept hidden for years. I drew it after the very first time I saw her, too mesmerised by her beauty and presence that I needed to put it on paper. Now, the sketch reminds me of a time when I thought there could be something more between us. But I know now, she will never choose me.

My betrayal, though coerced by Grimmel, is something I will never forgive myself for. The look in Vara's eyes when she put two and two together still haunts me. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make amends, but it might never be enough. I know that. She might never shake her head at my foolishness again; or roll her eyes whilst hiding a small smile because she secretely thought I was funny.

I am lost in my thoughts when I see Hiccup walking nearby, sketching something in his journal. I'm surprised he doesn't hit a tree, with his nose buried so deep in that book. I hesitate, but he looks up as if hearing my thoughts and, to my surprise, gestures for me to join him.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asks, his tone calm and inviting, though his eyes are slightly narrowed.

I shake my head. "Too many ghosts," I say quietly.

Hiccup nods, understanding softening the tight lines around his lips. "We all have them. But it's what we do with our lives now that matters."

I don't know what floods through me but the truth spills out of me. "I can't forgive myself for what I did. For helping him," I admit and don't even want to spit out that bastard's name.

Hiccup places a hand on my shoulder. We're almost alike in height, yet he still towers a little over me. "None of us are perfect, Malcolm. We all make mistakes. It's how we learn and grow from them that counts. You're here now, fighting with us. That's what matters."

I feel a surge of gratitude. I curse myself. Of course, the guy is not only good-looking but also kind. No wonder he's such a great chief. And no wonder Vara chose him over me. Heck, if I were interested in men like that, I would probably, too. "Thank you, Hiccup. I won't let you down."

Just then, Vara approaches, her expression sceptical yet kind. She looks at me and I just want to take her into my arms and never let go. I know I can't. "Hey," I say raspily and avert her gaze, feeling like a third wheel.

"Hey, Mal," she says lowly and, well, fuck. My nickname mixed with her voice? It should be forbidden.

I clear my throat and point behind me. "I guess I'll, uh, try to sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day."

Hiccup nods but Vara calls out my name when I turn to take off as quickly as possible. Then, without any warning of the weight and impact of her words, she says warmly, "You annoyed me most of the time, but I considered you a friend. You should know, that I would have taken a dagger for you. But...I didn't expect you to be the one to wield it. You hurt me. Badly. And my friends. But I know that, deep down, you're a good person. Trust takes time to rebuild, but we appreciate you helping us."

"What she said," Hiccup adds and grins.

I nod, dumbfounded into silence and tears welling in my eyes. "I understand. I'll do whatever it takes to make things right."

Vara offers an encouraging smile and my heart flutters at the sight. However, on my way back to my hut, I look over my shoulder and see them entangled in an embrace. Seeing that causes my heart to stop and clench painfully.

Yep, it's going to take a long fucking while to move on from that woman.

Snotlout

The whole exchange between Hiccup, Vara, and Malcolm makes me roll my eyes. Sure, it is touching, but come on. We have bigger fish to fry. It looks like one of those sappy scenes you read in romance novels.