Before I Fall

Chapter Twenty-three

Lourdes showed up at her door on the fifth day, asking for entry. Morgan sat on the floor polishing her toenails while a movie played on her television. She had no intention of letting her in but when she mentionrd she had take out, Morgan's mind changed in an instant. Waddling on her heels to the door, Morgan moved her forefinger in a wave motion while whispering an incantaion to remove the spell. Opening the door ajar, Morgan peeked out to scan her sister standing anxiously with three bags of food.

"What did you get?" she asked suspiciously.

"A little bit of everything, I know you can be picky."

Sighing, Morgan pulled the door wider to let her sister in. Lourdes bounded straight for the kitchen to put down the food while Morgan followed. In an instant, Lourdes turned around to look at Morgan with sad eyes and assessing what was done to her. There it was, this was why she wanted to be left alone she didn't want the pitying.

"Don't look at me like that, I don't want you to feel sorry for me." Morgan requested, the irritation was evident in her voice but that didn't stop Lourdes.

"Shut up." was all she replied before pulling Morgan into a bear hug. Even though she wouldn't admit it but Morgan needed it, so much so that a stray tear fell. Morgan wiped it away quickly before Lourdes saw and forced her to cry about her feelings. She stepped around Lourdes to get to the food. She grabbed two boxes and went back to the living room as Lourdes took her share.

They both sat in silence as they ate and watched the movie until it ended and another one began. Morgan went back to applying another coat of lime green polish to her toes while she downed some wine periodically but it her bestie was itching to break the silence. Sighing in defeat Morgan gave her the permission to say what she wanted.

"Do you wanna talk about the Honour Day-"

"Nope. Next question."

"You'll be twenty-seven in three days. What do you want to do?"

"Nothing."

"Morgan, what wrong with you? You're never this negative, you love your birthday."

"Well shame on me for not being little Ms. Sunshine this year Dez. My entire love life will cease to exist if I'm not mated by then which is more ammo for my mom to use against me, I'm still in recovery from an ass whooping and not to mention my failure is still one everyone's lips! So, sue me!" Morgan raged.

"I'm sorry M. That was insensitive of me."

"Mhmm."

"I don't want you to spend it alone but I know you still need space. Quinn has planned something special for my day but I'll be by your side in a heartbeat if you change your mind." Morgan gave a half smile at that. Lourdes was so kind and thoughtful, always thinking about her, nevertheless she wouldn't dare interrupt Lourdes' birthday because she was feeling lonely. In reality, she'd be too busy hosting a funeral right here for a love she would never have. After what happened at the event a few days ago, who would want her? Who would even want to be seen with her? She wasn't as strong as she thought and with this impending doom hovering, the little power she had manifested earlier would diminish rapidly. Fate had it all stacked against her indeed.

Thinking about mates, her mind went back to that fine, fine, fine-ass man. His eyes had stared at her in disappointment and even after her defeat Morgan had never felt so crushed, even though it was just a look. She didn't know how out of all the thousands of eyes staring at her, in that moment she could only see his beautiful face in spite of the fact that the look he gave stomped on her spirit. He was standing in the back near the exit which she assumed was to make an easy escape and after holding each other's haze for a few seconds, he turned away and escape he did. He left her there, a pile of  bleeding mess on the floor. All at once, Morgan felt so much shame and loneliness in her life, even with over a thousand people surrounding her. Why did she want to please him so badly? Why did she want to make him think better of her so that he would know that she wasn't a loser? Morgan had seen that pussy-dripping smile of his and sought to bring out another from him, one that was only meant for her. She hadn't thought about Raven- yes that's what she would call him, Raven, since that day and now that she had, she wondered what he was doing.

Lourdes snapped her fingers in front of Morgan's face to bring her back to reality.

"Hey, what were you thinking about?"

"No one! Nobody- I mean nothing! Yes... nothing at all." Morgan stumbled over words to which Lourdes slapped with a skeptical look. She wasn't buying it. Quickly changing the subject, Morgan opted to tell her the first thing that came to mind.

"Oh, I bought a studio!"

"Really? Why didn't you ask me for help? I had a great space picked out for you."

"So you can barge in whenever I'm dancing? Uh-uh."

"What's wrong with having a little audience?"

"Nothing, but you'd interrupt me constantly. Listen, I love you but I'm happy with the place I found." Lourdes released a sigh, then perked up again instantly. Her mood swing gave Morgan a whiplash.

"Wait, I almost forgot..." she unfolded her legs that were crossed on the sofa then sprinted to the kitchen where her purse sat on the counter. Morgan waited impatiently for her to return but when she saw Lourdes skipping toward her with a gift bag, excitement took over her bones.

"Ooooh, what'd ya get me Blondie?" Morgan grinned which pained her healing jaw a little.

"I designed your pre-birthday gift myself. It was hard to think about to get you because you have everything there is except for this. I hope you will only use it when you're in need of it." Lourdes handed Morgan the black bag and she didn't waste any time digging through it to pull out a shiny golden handgun made perfect with pale tiger stipes. It was the last thing Morgan expected to receive but she loved it.

On the grip of the gun, there was an outline of a woman in a suggestive position holding two firearms. It was made just to her liking.

"Well, what do you think?" her sister asked in anticipation.

"I love it Lourdes, thank you so much." Morgan stood to give her sister a hug. "I didn't think that I wanted a weapon like this but now that I have it... I'll be careful, I promise."

"That's good to hear. Plus I even took time to etch your name into the bullets but you can look at that later. i got you something else too." Lourdes boasted. Rummaging through the bag again, Morgan pulled out a brand new  cellphone. She looked at her sister in shock.

"How did you-?"

"I know you M. With what happened the other day and me calling you constantly, I know that your old phone felt the force of your anger. So I figured I'd get you a new one." she shrugged in response.

"I don't deserve you Dez. You're the bestest friend a girl could ask for."

"Yep and don't ever forget it. I expect my gift will be great too right?"

"Isn't it always?" both women shared a laugh at that and embraced again. Morgan was happy she let her sister in, her bubbly personality was just what she needed to lift her spirits and take her from that glum state she was loving.

A ding on Lourdes' phone broke their loving moment and after checking the screen, she revealed to Morgan that she had to meet up with her man for date night.

"I actually want you to spend the rest of the night with me." Morgan pouted.

"I know but I can come over tomorrow."

"Sure." Sharing hugs and kisses for the last time, Lourdes left and this time Morgan was in a better mood. Morgan placed her new gift in the bedside table after her bath. Her home was secured under the warding spell again and now with a content feeling she dressed in her silk shorts and mesh top then tucked herself in bed.

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Down in the trenches of her dream, Morgan dwelled. Here she fought to stay buoyant in the briney deep but the violent waves that surrouded her pushed her down into the darkness over and over again. The black sky held no stars and no moon, yet somehow she perceived that light was shining from somewhere. There was no land in sight. The darkness was hungry and consuming everything in it's path and it was coming for her. What was she going to do? Her head dipped  for a moment and Morgan caught sight of her moving arms that kept her afloat. There it was, the light she'd been searching for. It was filtering through her skin, pure and untouched but it scorched her to the bone. The coldness of the dark water caressed her like a lover so she didn't notice how it burned inside her. It was too late now, the darkness had come to eat her and the princess went under without a fight.