𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗦 𝗧𝗢 𝗖𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗘 ♡︎

𝟮. 𝗶'𝗺 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝘁

I sit up, feeling a huge headache. It's Thursday, I just woke up. I'm wearing clothes I wore yesterday to the studio, it's an oversize hoodie and jeans. Jesus, did I sleep in jeans...? That's why I felt so uncomfortable when I woke up in the middle of the night.

I left Dean's house at 5pm, I drove home and I went straight to bed almost immediately. I didn't plan to sleep, I just wanted to rest for a while... but I fell asleep.

I get up and I feel dizzy. Anyway, when I'm doing steps I feel weaker than normally. Besides going to bathroom to do my morning pee, I go to the kitchen and look for a thermometer. I'm literally knocking out drawers to find this one electronic thermometer. Good thing I bought it when I moved here.

I go back to bed with a sore bladder and muscles, with a new friend by my side. I hide under the blanket, I measure my fever.

Damn, I've got 102 degree Fahrenheit fever. So I won't go to the studio today. I pull my hand out from under the covers and reach for my phone. I text Dean.

Olivia: hi, i have a fever and i'm not feeling well, i can't come today. i'm sorry.

Dean: hey, it's okay. get well soon

After a few minutes of lying idle under the covers, I decide to get up again, I take off my jeans and go to the kitchen in search of something to bring down the fever. My throat hurts and I want to cough. Wonderfully. Before I go to the kitchen, I head to the bathroom.

I find paracetamol in the cabinets, I don't know if it will work because I don't know about medicines. I pour some water into a glass and take one of the pills before going back to the bedroom.

And then I remember. Today is Thursday. Our date day.

I can't just call him and say that I cannot go on a date because I'm sick. He never cares, so even if I was dying I would have to appear.

I don't have a force to fight with him today. But also I don't have a force to dress up and go on this fucking date.

It all makes me cry, so I try to clear my mind by trying to sleep again. It helps, only a few tears fall from my eyelids.

Shouldn't dating a guy be fun for a girl? Shouldn't she be happy? What's wrong with me?

I wake up a few hours later, now it's 1pm. I'm all sweaty and weak. I get up and change my clothes to comfortable pyjamas. There's no way I'll go on this date.

I go to the living room with the blanket, I sit on the sofa and cover myself, starting watching TV. I watch some stupid shows that add nothing to my life, but in this state they seem interesting.

At 2pm I make myself a breakfast, or a lunch, better - three toasts. I eat them slowly, I didn't even want to eat them, but I had to eat something.

An hour later I'm getting nervous because at this time I should preparing myself for a date. My hair is oil, I should take a shower and shave... but all I want is sleeping.

I gather my courage and decide to call my boyfriend. He answers after two rings.

"Um.. h-hi, Nate", I say quietly.

"What's up?", I hear his voice.

"I'm sick", I explain.

"And?", obviously, he doesn't care.

"I cannot go on the date with you. I really want to", I lie, "but I'm too weak to get up from the bed".

"Ok, I'll drive to the club, you can join", he hangs up and I try to suppress my sadness.