𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗦 𝗧𝗢 𝗖𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗘 ♡︎

56. 𝗱𝗶𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀

Grace's pov

I look up at Olivia that sighs and closes her notebook. She's been sitting with me for a while and writing in her diary. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, my notebook just ended and I can't finish today's note", she says, placing her white notebook on the bedsheet.

"I feel like you've been writing in this one forever", I reply, picking it up. I don't open it, though.

"Yeah, you're right... this one is actually so special. The second note is about how he hit me for the first time and it ends with me being in the most beautiful relationship with you", Olivia says, gazing at the notebook.

"I'm glad we're together", I smile, not really knowing what to reply.

"You can read it, though", Liv blurts out.

"Seriously?"

"If you're curious how he was like... and you're gonna understand how I feel sometimes, when I have my days when I feel not enough", she grabs the notebook and opens it on the right page, then puts it on my lap again. "I'm gonna make us a dinner", she places a kiss on my forehead before she gets up and closes the bedroom door. And yes, Olivia learnt how to cook some dishes.

I hesitate for a while but Liv approved that I can read it. Although I'm not really sure if I want to know how bad he was.

I take a deep breath and start to read.

I can't believe what happened yesterday and if I didn't look into the mirror I'd say that was just a bad dream. Not only does my heart sting right now, but also the bruise that he made. I just can't believe it. My boyfriend and best friend slapped me. I don't know what to think about it. Maybe I was too harsh... I saw him flirting with that girl he met recently and they became friends, don't really remember her name, Melanie or Millie? Whatever. We argued and it was me who started a fight. I shouldn't have done it. I asked him if he's seeing someone else and he got so mad. He was yelling a lot and when I wanted to say something too, he just slapped me. We've been distant lately but how did I deserve it? Today's morning he apologized, but it was like "I'm sorry for this, Olivia, but you know that it was your fault and you deserved it. How could you think that I'm cheating on you when I'm your boyfriend?" So technically I did deserve it. I hope it happened just once and will never happen again.

Poor Liv. Little did she know what's gonna happen next.

Another note.

He hit me again. I'm so scared. He just left my apartmet after he pushed me to the wall, slapped me and pressed his knee to my crotch. From the loved boyfriend he's turning into an abusive one. Basically, we spent the evening together, but I could tell he was angry. He asked me out after how he slapped me a few days ago to make it up for me. He met his ex friend and they talked a bit, but I didn't hear it. After that he was so mad. And I worsened the situation. We were in my hall, he was about to leave. And I made a joke about his beanie. I don't really remember what I said, but I laughed and he furrowed his eyebrows, the second after I was pressed to the wall hearing him saying some bad words. He called me a bitch and hit me, then he left and slammed the door. I'm truly afraid at this point.

I read another notes, getting to the other one, where I can see the smudged pen ink. Seeing her ex's name makes me believe that she cried while writing it.

I'm so tired of this all, I don't know what going on. Nate has never been so tense and mean. First he cries in my arms about some stuff that are happening in his family, then he lets out his anger on me. He comes to my apartment drunk, saying that I'm not worth anything, and there are better girls than me. He wants me to have sex with him, but I don't want to, and he cannot understand it. Today was the worst day. He woke up next to me, smiled and immediately slide his hands into my shorts. I was telling him that I don't want to, I'm on my period too but he didn't believe me. He let it go, fortunately, but he hit my stomach and cheek. Such a good start of a day.