Having Toms Baby (a Tom Hiddleston story)

Friendly advice

*Tom*
I just walk, wanting to be alone, not wanting to talk to anyone or deal with anyone. I know I kinda bought myself in this damned mess, it doesn't mean I am not suffering.

By now I am missing Celestia so much it hurts, and I miss seeing her and to be a part of the pregnancy on a day to day basis. I want to be there and be a part of it.

And I feel more and more resentment towards Felicity, I can't believe that I was once in love with her. I honestly can't stand her. She has always been such an arrogant bitch, I have realized that. She is like one of those girls you see at parties who think they are better than everyone else because their daddy owns half the town. But somehow she managed to make me believe she was everything I needed.

I don't even know how long I have been walking without any destination in mind, though my feet seem to take care of that for me. Ever since Celestia left I have felt like this ... like some kind of shell-shocked soldier who's come home from war only to discover he isn't quite himself anymore; someone whose soul seems to have left him behind somewhere along his travels.

The problem is that no matter where I look, I can find nothing but memories: all these memories of Celestia, and they hurt.

I remember when we first met ... the way she looked up into my eyes as if trying to read my very thoughts by looking deep within them, and then blushing prettily before turning away again. Her smile, which could light up the darkest room and always makes my heart flutter.

Suddenly I realize that I am standing outside Ben's house. This is what I need, a talk with my best friend. Hoping he is home I go to knock on the door.

"Tom". Ben says with surprise, opening the door. "What on Earth are you wearing ?"

"Felicity is having a costume party, She forced me". I sigh. "Can I come in ?"

He nods and moves aside. "Of course, you are always welcome".

Walking inside I say hi to Ben's wife Sophie, who hugs me tightly, before retreating to their bedroom to read, giving me and Ben time alone to talk.

"Sit down". Ben says, pointing to the couch. "I'll be just a minute".

I slump down on the couch, unsure how much I can tell my friend about what is going on. On the other hand I have known Ben forever, I know I can trust him.

"Here". He comes back, throwing me a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. "I can't have a serious talk if you are dressed like the lead in a porn about Greek gods".

We both laugh, and I quickly pull on the pants, then remove the costume and put on the shirt, before slumping back down on the couch.

Ben sits next to me, giving me a small smile . "So, what happened ?"

I start off slowly, telling him the story, leaving out anything that might embarrass either of us. It feels good to finally get it all out, to let someone hear every single word of what happened between Celeste and I. When I finish talking Ben is quiet for a moment, staring into space. Then he speaks softly. "Wow, I mean I expected things were brewing between the two of you, and I know Felicity is a bitch ... sorry, but you would never have listened. I had no idea she was capable of this".

"It wasn't really until after the whole Celestia getting pregnant that she really started being horrible". I say quietly, remembering the night I came home and found her waiting for me in bed. I remember the way she tried to seduce me, and making promises to change. All lies!

Ben looks at me, and I can sense that he understands exactly why I stayed with her, and maybe also how hard it must have been for me. It is nice to feel understood.

"You know I'm here for you right ? You've got friends you can count on, you aren't alone". Ben says.

Suddenly I notice tears rolling down my cheeks, and I turn my face away embarrassed.

Ben reaches over and takes my chin in his fingers, forcing me to look at him. "Tom it's okay, I would cry too".

"Tomorrow Celestia has another scan ... I wanted to be there". I say, shaking my head.

"Then be there Tom". He says. "I know it is hard to stand up to her. I get what you are risking by crossing her. But do not let her make the choice for you".

We sit together for a while longer, and I feel better knowing that I still have someone I can rely on. Eventually Ben gets up and goes into the kitchen, returning with a glass of water for me. After drinking it I wipe my eyes dry, still feeling slightly ashamed that I am crying.

"Thanks Ben". I mumble, sitting back down on the couch.

He gives me another hug before heading upstairs to check on his family.

"I should get home". I tell him when he gets back.

"Maybe you should take the guest room for tonight". He says softly. "So you do not have to return to the party".

"That wouldn't be fair on Felicity". I protest.

He smiles sadly. "Seriously Tom, has She been fair to you ... Or to Celestia ?"

I shake my head. "You are right. Sure, I would love to stay in the guestroom, if it is okay with Sophie".

"Of course it is alright with her". He says with a warm smile. "It was her suggestion actually".

"Then I will say thank you very much". I tell him with a smile.

However before I turn of my phone I do send Felicity a text, telling her that I am okay and will be home tomorrow. Mostly so she won't call the police or something.

It is a good bed, but I find it incredibly difficult to fall asleep. Tossing and turning, trying to figure out what to do.