Forbidden Love

chapter eleven

Tobias and I aimlessly walked around the city. I tried to talk to him in the beginning of our little adventure after we left Potbelly but he never said anything back. After a while I stopped trying to get him to talk to me and decided to go with the flow. I did feel his eyes a couple of times when we were walking but I pretended that I didn't noticed. I wanted to know what he was thinking but I knew the more I pushed the more he would pull. When I couldn't take the cold anymore I stopped walking earning a puzzled look from Tobias.

"It's cold and I'm tired of walking around. Can we go somewhere?"

"We're almost there. C'mon sweetheart. Put some pep in your step," he joked.

For the first time tonight I saw a small smile creep on his lips that made me forget everything else. He nudged his head forward, indicated that I should follow him and continue walking. With a long and loud groan I dragged my feet next to him.

We passed abandoned buildings and run down houses. I wasn't surprised; the city had its nice places, the places everybody raved over. However, it had its downsides just like every other place. I took in the scenery. I saw one black family huddled together. The father had his daughter on his shoulders and the mother was walking with the son. They looked like they had a rough life as they went inside their broken down home. Windows were smashed and the bricks were falling off the stairs. The kids looked happy though and didn't mind their home. I think that's all that matters in the end. If you're happy then all the materialistic things shouldn't matter.

After what seemed like forever we stopped in front of a small building that looked over a hundred years old. I looked over at Tobias and noticed he was looking at the building as if he was seeing a ghost. After a moment he put his hand in mine without looking at me and walked inside.

The first thing I noticed was the strong smell of sweat. I scrunched my nose and looked around. I could see a big boxing ring in the middle followed by miscellaneous items including a speed bag, a heavy bag, some boxing gloves, as well as some other things I didn't know.

Tobias let go of my hand and inhaled deeply. "This is the place that saved my life. This is the place I learned to box."

I looked at him surprised. This was the first time he was willing to talk to me about anything in his life. I had a feeling that this was personal for him. He walked around and took in his surrounding. A frown came upon his face when he stepped next to a punching bag.

"When I was fourteen I had my first fight. It wasn't a boxing fight. It was a real fight, more so for self defense."

"What happened?" I questioned softly, walking next to him.

He looked at me with only one emotion on his face. Pain. I could see pain all over his face; from the way his pupils dilated to the scowl on his eyebrows. He was hurt. He was wounded. He was in pain and it showed.

"I was a mistake. I wasn't supposed to be born," he explained. "My parents were both crackheads, just wanting to get high and have sex anytime they pleased. By the time my mom found out she was pregnant with me it was too late. Too late for her to get an abortion."

His voice was full of venom and I knew this story was only going to get worse. I took in his body language. With his hands clenched and body tense I knew he wanted to hit something, anything.

"So my parents tried to do anything to kill me. Continued to get high, drink alcohol, and basically live life normally for themselves. They didn't know this not only added strain on me but on my mother as well. I was born two months before my due date and I was welcomed into the world with only a father who wanted nothing to do with me.

"My father resented me, he blamed me for the death of my mother. He became ruthless and malicious. He was stuck with a kid he wanted nothing to do with. I became a human punching bag. And finally when I couldn't take it anymore I fought back in the only way I knew I could hurt him."

"The drugs," I whispered understandingly.

He nodded. "I flushed them down the toilet and faced the wrath of my father. He was so pissed off he took a knife and tried to end my life. I was quicker than that though and he missed my eye by a couple of inches. And that's when I knew I had to get out of there. I packed all my stuff and left. And this place... This place took me in when I had nobody. Robert Hills owned this place and took in kids on the street who were lost and angry. He showed us an outlet to let their anger out. Everyday before practice would begin he would tell us a quote by Cus D'Amato. He would say 'the hero and the coward both feel the same thing, but the hero uses his fear, projects it onto his opponent, while the coward runs. It's the same thing, fear, but it's what you do with it that matters.'

"After every fight, win or lose, he would call us a hero. Not because he wanted everybody to feel better about themselves but because we learned to control our emotions and channel fear into something positive.This gym helped me become who I am today, a southpaw. I owe them everything for that."

With this new information it helped me look at Tobias in a new light. It explained a lot and still left many unanswered questions. But one still lingered in my mind.

"Why did you tell me all of this?"

He looked at me, his eyes fixed on mine. For the first time I saw something other than pain and sadness in his eyes. His hazel eyes were much brighter and were filled with emotion.

"Frank Bruno once said that boxing is the toughest and loneliest sport in the world, and I'm tired of being lonely."

My heart fluttered as I stared into his eyes. I finally knew what emotion was showing in his eyes; hope. His eyes wandered to my lips and I licked them subconsciously. He looked back into my eyes as if he was asking for permission before tilting his head down and resting his lips on mine.

I've kissed Tobias many times but nothing compared to this. With his hands cupped on my cheek and both of our body's glued together it seemed like our bodies responded together perfectly in sync. Every time we're together I have this overwhelming urge to be next to him in any way possible. I should've known that this wasn't healthy but I didn't care. The only thing I cared about was way Tobias made me feel every time he touched me and there was no words for that.