Live for me (Choso x Reader)

Obsevant ~ Ch12

¤ (Y/n)'s Point Of View ¤

After my spectacle with the cursed spirit earlier, I spent roughly an hour catching up with my everyone in the living room. Jogo and Hanami told me about their fight with Gojo, that he seemed to be showing off to Sukuna's vessel as they thought. My immediate thought was that that sounded exactly like something Gojo would do. During the conversation, I was painfully aware of how quiet Choso was- how he just sat there listening to his brothers babble on about their day. He seemed to be deep in thought, and a part of me thought that was my fault.

After my catch-up with most of the members of Geto's group, everyone agreed that it was time to head to bed- that the night went on for long enough. I agreed instantly, exhausted from using my domain expansion earlier. The after affects only ever hit me hours later, making me feel drowzy and weak. After saying goodnight to everyone, I went to my room and closed the door behind me with a sigh.

I took a moment to collect myself, leaning my head against the door for just a few seconds. My eyes then drifted to the vase of flowers beside my bed, only to realise that it was empty. That was when my eyes flickered down to the trash can beside my door, seeing at least three dead bouquets. I sighed and banged my head against the door softly with frustration. Damn it. I forgot to pluck fresh flowers.

I sighed as I pressed my ear against the door, hearing footsteps fade as people walked back into their rooms and doors close. I waited untill there wasn't a single sound coming from my floor untill I quietly opened my door and snuck out. I tiptoed down the hall, making my way to the patio where there was a whole garden of flowers waiting to be plucked. Before I could head straight to the flower bed, I caught a glimpse of a certain someone standing still infront of the now dead Sakura tree.

Choso stood silently, looking up at the dead tree with wonder. My heart stilled as his hand reached to touch it, bark flaking off beneath his palm. A part of me wanted to grab the flowers and run before he could turn to face me, but I knew he had probabaly already sensed my cursed energy. We weren't too far away, after all and I wasn't even trying to conceal my power. I sighed as I walked closer to him.

"You're still out here?" I called out questioningly as I walked up from behind him. Choso slowly turned to face me, not seeming suprised by my presence- telling me that he did indeed sense my cursed energy.
"Why aren't you inside?" I asked him gently as I stood beside him, also looking up at the dark flaking tree.
"I could ask you the same." He replied stoically. I can never tell what he's thinking.

"I came to pick a fresh bouquet for my bedside table." I told him, motioning to the flower bed to our right. Choso nodded absentmindedly, his eyes flickering back to the dead cherry blossoms. He was curious then. I sighed, not feeling right about simply just walking away from him.
"Would you like to join me as I pick some flowers?" I asked him softly. Choso didn't reply, simply just following behind me as I set off towards the flower bed.

This part of the garden was big, circling the koi pond. There was enough space to stroll through, admiring the different types of flowers that Hanami put to much effort in to grow.
"Hanami grows a new batch for me every day. The colour scheme matches the mood of each day." I explained. Today had been sunny and vibrant all day, so all Hanami's fresh flowers were yellow and orange.

"And the tree?" Choso then asked, surprising me for a single moment.
"Only when needed. But it's always a Sakura tree. Cherry blossoms are my favourite." I explained calmly. Choso now knew why the tree was there, to act as a source of life for me to drain when I was hurt. Hopefully, he didn't realise that the flowers held the same purpose.
"Do you harm yourself?" He then asked, making me choke on the air I breathed in. I spoke too soon.

"W-what?! N-no! Why would you think that?" I spluttered out, my pupils wide and trembling with nerves. Choso studied my face for a second before looking away, almost as if he knew that I was lying. But unless that was his cursed technique, how could he know?
"Hanami grows these plants to act as a source of life for you to drain. If you need a new bouquet every day, there is only one explanation." Choso told me calmly, making my eyes go wide. He was perceptive and observant.

"I-I don't harm myself! The flowers are for aesthetic purposes." I defended, hating myself for stuttering.
"You're lying." Chosos then said, making my eyes go wide with shock.
"It doesn't take a night for flowers to die." He then added dully, making me bite the inside of my cheek. That was true. Still, I didn't fight him anymore. I was embarrassed and wanted to leave as soon as possible.

Choso glanced down at me as we approached the bed of camellias, but to my relief, he didn't say anything more.
"This is Hanami's new batch." I mumbled as I kneeled to the ground. I plucked around twenty new flowers, enough to last me for two nights. The last thing I wanted was to be caught here again tomorrow by Choso. I ignored the fact that I could feel his gaze into my back.

"We can go inside now." I mumbled to him, avoiding eye-contact as I stood back up onto my feet.
"Does your brother know about this?" He then asked me, making my eyes go wide.
"If you're suggesting self-harm again. I told you already, I do not hurt myself." I said firmly, glaring up at him before marching back inside. He walked behind me, saying nothing more as I slid open the glass doors.

"Goodnight, Choso." I forced myself to tell him, biting the inside of my cheek as I turned around and rushed down the hall and back into my room. I closed the door behind me- almost too loudly, gasping and releasing the breath that I didn't know I was holding. Why did he have to be so observant? What would happen if he brought his concerns to my brother? I clenched my eyes shut as tightly as I could, all these thoughts runnung through my head.

Before I put myself into a panic attack, I decided to put myslef to bed. I was exausted and maybe tomorrow after some rest, I'd know how to handle this better. So I slipped out of my clothes and done my nightly routine as quickly as possible, puting ten camellia flowers into my bedside table and the other ten neatly beside my pillow. When I was ready, I slipped into my bed.

I closed my eyes and put a my left hand over my heart, activating my cursed energy. I then drained as much of my own lifeforce as I could, converting it into cursed energy. I kept draining my own life until I was dizzy and nauseous, my eyes flickering open and closed. I didn't stop untill I found it hard to clench my fists, my bones and muscles feeling weak- dying. And right before I passed out, I pulled the fresh blooming camellias to my chest.

I remember the days it was so easy to go to sleep- it felt like a lifetime ago.

(A.N ~ This chapter might have been hard to understand so let me know if I need to explain in more detail!)

Chapter 13 Quote Teaser :

"I only share my bed with you, (Y/n).
It's because of you that I pass up incredible all nighter sex- just so I can help you fall asleep! Come on, don't you appreciate me?~"