Live for me (Choso x Reader)

Betrayal ~ Ch36

Warnings : Mentions of trauma, Mentions of sexual abuse, Spoilers about the fate of Geto's parents?

3rd Point Of View

Choso and (Y/n) spent just over an hour in silence after the girl had fell asleep on Choso's lap. Once again, Choso watched her as she slept, not moving and not making a single noise so that she could thoroughly rest. The half-curse hoped that when she woke up, Gojo wouldn't be immediately on her mind. Choso was lost in thought for that whole hour, but snapped out of it the moment (Y/n)'s door busted open and a certain stitched curse burst in.

"(Y/n)~, I've been waiting forever! I'm hungr-" Choso cut Mahito off with an attack so quick that it couldn't be seen by the naked eye, slapping his hands together and aiming his cursed technique towards the curse. One second Mahito was loudly barging into (Y/n)'s room and the next second, he was spilt into hundreds of red bloody pieces, laid all over the hallway floor.
"Put yourself back together and then close the bedroom door. Do not come back inside here." Choso warned dangerously.

Mahito's limbs slithered back together slowly, reconstructing himself with a terrified look on his face. He'd never realised how scary Choso was until now.
"Okay, I'm sorry." The stitched curse squeaked, closing (Y/n)'s bedroom door without waiting for his body to completely put himself back together, desperate to get away.

When the door closed, Choso sighed, his eyes flickering back to (Y/n) who then began stirring in his grip. Now he was thinking he went too easy on Mahito, because the bastard indeed woke her up.
"I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" Choso asked the girl softly as her eyes opened. It seemed to take her a few second before she realised where she was and why she was there, peeling herself away from Choso the moment it all came back to her.

Choso frowned as she pulled away from him, her gently rubbing the sleep out of her puffy red eyes with a quiet yawn.
"What time is it?" She then asked Choso, not answering his previous question, her voice croaky and raw from all her crying- worse than before. Beneath her eyes were almost black, suggesting that she needed much more sleep.
"That does not matter. You should rest some more." Choso replied.

"Of course it matters. If it's too late then I would have kept everyone waiting on breakfast. I couldn't possibly rest and keep them wai-" Choso cut her off.
"If you need more rest, then rest. The time is irrelevant." The half-curse told her seriously, making the girl force out a soft chuckle as she pushed herself towards the edge of the bed.
"It's okay, Choso. I'm okay now." She mumbled, mustering up her best smile for him.

"You are lying." Choso replied dully. (Y/n) didn't reply to his accusation, spacing out once her eyes caught sight of the Gojo's notebook that lain across the floor. It must have dropped down there after her sobbing session. Choso frowned at the distant look in her eyes as she spaced out, not at all looking like herself. He hated this.

"(Y/n)?" He softly called out, snapping her out of her thoughts, looking at him and put on another forced smile.
"I'm fine, Choso. Really." She lied.
"This isn't my first betrayal, I'll be okay." She added with a bitter joking tone, confusing Choso. What did that mean?
"It's not your first betrayal?" Choso echoed, his brows knotted.

"Unfortunately not. I've been betrayed by Gojo, the day he killed my brother. And I've also been betrayed by my brother the day he became a curse user." (Y/n) mumbled. Though, Satoru's betrayal then wasn't aimed at her- simply a mercy killing.
"But eventually realised Satoru killed my brother as a mercy and that Suguru never truly left me." She mumbled, "Huh, maybe I haven't been betrayed like this before. I seem to have excuses for them all." (Y/n) pondered numbly. She was starting to scare Choso with the way she was acting, like an empty shell.

"This is the first time it's ever hurt so badly, though. I didn't even feel like way when Suguru killed our parents." The girl mumbled, making Choso's eyes widen.
"What?" Choso immediately asked. This was the first he'd heard of this. He'd never actually thought about (Y/n) and her brother's parents. If he did, he'd assume they died of natural causes or were killed. The last thing he'd expect to hear was that Suguru Geto killed them himself.

"You don't need to feel bad for me- I was only 12 when it happened. So my sense of moral wasn't too evolved then." (Y/n) chuckled bitterly, standing up and preparing to walk away. Choso flinched, he didn't want her to leave.
"Tell me about it?" He asked with a hopeful tone, hoping she'd sit back down and continue talking with him. (Y/n) pursed her lips and pondered for a moment, before nodding and sitting back down. Choso relaxed with relief. Now, she'd focus on talking about something else, taking her mind off Gojo.

"Well, when I was 12 Geto betrayed Jujutsu high and set out on his mission to change the world as a curse user. He killed our parents the same day, claiming that it wouldn't be fair to leave them out." (Y/n) explained.
"But how could he do that when they were your parents too?" Choso asked.
"Not exactly...they were my parents by blood and name of course, but not anything beyond that." She said.

"They were human. So they were... different to us." The girl explained, "They didn't really understand Suguru when his power manifested and had trouble connecting to him after that. So they had another kid- enter me...an even bigger freak." Choso was about to object, but (Y/n) cut him off before he could even attempt to say a word.
"They hated me the moment my cursed technique manifested at the age of 6. I was even harder to death with than my brother because the moment they touched me, I'd start subconsciously killing them..." She admitted, making Choso's eyes go wide. That sounds like a horrible burden to a child.

"So they dealt with me by sending me to an orphanage at the edge of Tokyo." The girl told him, her eyes cast down. Choso gaped, freezing in suprise.
"I spent a year there until Suguru convinced one of the higher ups to take me in- telling them that I'd be too dangerous anywhere else." She told him, "Honestly, I'm not even sure which higher up became my legal guardian. But as long as I was back with my brother, I didn't care."

"Him and I lived in the jujutsu tech dorms together. He was still in contact with our parents for the whole duration, while I was not. So the day he killed them...I honestly didn't feel a thing. They were strangers to me." (Y/n) admitted. Choso let her words wash over him, realising that it was after her time in the orphanage was when she began needing to sleep with someone protecting her.

"Now, you cannot sleep unless you feel safe. Is that because..." Choso trailed, unable to continue because it was a bit accusation that he'd be making.
"Because of my time spent in the orphanage." She finished his guess, making his jaw clench. "The staff would...do stuff to the children as we slept. With me it was harder, since I'd start killing them when they touched me. But when I was asleep, my technique was too. So I'd try my best to never sleep- but of course, I was a kid and my resolve didn't take me very far when my eyelids felt heavily that bricks."

Anger burst within Choso's chest like a dancing flame, suddenly feeling the need to kill a few people. His fists clenched to keep him from acting out.
"How far did they..." Again, he couldn't finish his question- now too scared to hear her say the answer.
"Honestly, I don't know...I couldn't tell you what they did because I've got no idea." She whispered, "I used to wake up with their hands on me and a few items of clothing missing, but when they noticed that I was awake, they'd back away. To this day, I still have no idea how far they went."

"Does Geto know about this?" Choso asked through gritted teeth.
"Yes...the staff at the orphanage were his next victims after he slaughtered our parents. That one I know was personal." The girl replied calmly, her eyes distant and tired. Everything she said, she said with a distant voice, so quiet and calm. She shouldn't be. She should be livid.
"Again, I didn't feel a thing when he killed them." She admitted in a low whisper, as if she were ashamed for not mourning her abusers.

"I've never admitted that to anyone...I was too scared to be judged." (Y/n) told Choso, now looking over her shoulder to look him in the eyes. He looked outraged, as if this information had sparked something within him.
"I can not judge you..." he muttered, the look in his eyes venomous as he said,

"...because if Geto hadn't already killed them, I would have."

(A.N ~ itty bitty backstory to why Y/n can't sleep alone.)

Chapter 37 Quote Teaser :

"My smile- real or not, is the reason this house hasn't crumbled to the ground yet."