Live for me (Choso x Reader)

Journal ~ Ch20

3rd Point Of View

Gojo returned home to his apartment the moment Itadori finally decided to go to bed. After making Yuuji tell him every single detail of his encounter with (Y/n), they trained for a few hours untill both of their bodies were unable to move anymore. Admittedly, Gojo only worked himself so hard to take his mind off (Y/n), because after a year of radio silence, she was back and his brain was working overtime to figure out what that could mean.

Gojo opened his front door with a loud sigh, dropping his keys onto the jade dish beside him as he slammed the door behind him. (Y/n) used to hate when he left his keys laying around the house, so she forced him into a routine of putting things where they become easily accessible. Now he hated that by simply dropping his keys onto a measly dish could remind him of her.

Like a starfish, he flopped onto his bed without grace. His face was smooshed against his pillow as he groaned with frustration, too many thoughts running around his mind. All he could think about was whether (Y/n) being back in Tokyo meant something. For a whole year, he hadn't see or heard from her. But now she had apparently been sneaking to Jujutsu high to check on him. That was a good sign, wasn't it? A sign that she still cared. Or was he just being delusional?

"Damn it...fuck you for still caring about me." Gojo muttered to himself, his words muffled by his pillow. When she left, for months Satoru found it hard to sleep. He had gotten so used to sleeping beside her every night that he forgot what it felt like to sleep alone. Satoru then was always worried, constantly wondering how (Y/n) was getting any sleep if the only people she trusted enough to be able to fall asleep were him and and her deceased brother.

A human could only go 11 days without sleep and Satoru worried that her stubborness against wanting to see him had gotten her killed. But if she was alive and well, did that mean she had found someone else to sleep beside? Someone who she trusted with her life? Or maybe she found another way to fall asleep. Jealousy began bubbling inside Gojo as the options ran through his mind.

Gojo sighed again as he flipped onto his back and stared at the ceiling. This apartment had been his and (Y/n)'s home for 5 years and yet when she left, the apartment kind of started feeling like a hotel. He didn't want to touch anything. He wanted nothing of hers to be out of place- for it to be exactly as she left it.

The one thing he did touch of hers while she was gone was her journal. She kept it under her pillow and tended to write about her day before bed. Satoru tried to once use it against her but it didn't work because apparently a journal and a diary were two completely different things. She didn't care if he read her journal, insisting that there was nothing in there that he didn't know already. So he never looked at it again- that was, until she left.

Now he tortured himself by reading an entry from time to time, reminiscing about certain days that he spent with her. It was like travelling back in time and experiencing it all over again. Sometimes it just hurt, because he could always hear her voice as he read it. Before Satoru could think about it, he slipped his hand under her pillow and pulled out her journal.

He opened the journal on a random page as he usually did, checking the first few lines to make sure it wasn't an entry that he hadn't already read. This entry was about her and her brother. When she wrote about her meetups with her brother, she wrote him under the code name of Yuki. It took a few months for him to realise that Yuki was indeed Suguru. Without thinking about it too much, Gojo began reading.

May 12th

I spent today on a mission with Gojo and Aoi Todo, the student that calls me "Miss sexy Geto"- no matter how many times I tell him that it's inappropriate. I don't think he can take me seriously when Gojo always agrees with him. But that's a complaint for another day. No, today is far more serious. Yes, today I almost killed my student. I don't think he remembers it- the only thing he remembers was waking up to Satoru shaking the shit out of him. I don't think he ever noticed that I was in tears, thinking that I had killed him. I barely remember how it happened. I know that we were looking for a 2nd grade curse within Aokigahara forest- Japan's famous suicide forest. Next thing I knew, we found a group of dead teenagers and I was surrounded by death. I didn't even mean to absorb their deaths- it just overwhelmed me untill it happened. When Gojo finally pulled me back from the brink of calamity, I had already forced that darkness upon Todo untill he was hanging by a thread. I hate my cursed technique. Absorbing life was one thing, but to absorb death was a whole different type of chaos-and I hated that it felt good. I promised myself today, that I'd never willingly absorb death. And if I ever absorbed it by accident again, hopefully Satoru will always be there beside me to take me off that edge.

Gojo bit the inside of his cheeks before flicking to the next page.

May 13th

I started thinking the concept of soulmates today- about the fact that I once thought soulmates meant two desintined lovers. I never believed that soulmates could be platonic, so I never considered that I had already found mine. But as I sat on that bench today, watching Satoru mess around with Maki's staff just to annoy her...I realised something. That soulmates most definitely could be platonic, and that I was too naive to realise that I had found mine. Don't get me wrong, I still believe soulmates can be lovers- actually I believe that your soulmate would be your ideal lover. But it's by no means a must. You can still go your whole life being best friends with your soulmate and feel satisfied. I don't think I have any romantic feelings for Satoru, but I definitely could if I tried. For example, I think that despite his fuckboy nature, he'd make a great father. I've seen proof of that through Megumi. I also think it's easier to fall for someone after you've been sexually intimate with someone. So, I guess, maybe that is how one can go from platonic soulmate to a romantic soulmate. And Satoru, if you're reading this, this is not an invitation for you to ask me to sleep with you.

Satoru chuckled to himself after reading the last time, tears that he didn't allow to fall stinging his eyes. He inhaled deeply as he opened the journal to another random page.

January 22nd

Today I met up with Yuki again. It's always really nice catching up with him. Sometimes I actually forgot that he isn't part of the family anymore. He always seemed so genuine when he listened to me babble on about my day, never interrupting me. I probably spoke for hours today, telling him about how Gojo entered my domain expansion and how he reacted to it. It wasn't untill I left that I realised that there were a few details that I probably shouldn't have told him- about Gojo and about Jujutsu tech. Yuki is not a Jujutsu sorcerer anymore. I needed to remember that.
But Yuki asked me a question today that has been on my mind ever since. He asked if I would continue to exorcise curses even if I left my position as a Jujutsu sorcerer. Now, I don't know why I'd leave my position as a Jujutsu sorcerer- especially if I'm always this happy. But if I did...I think I would still exorcise curses. I mean, me leaving my position here at Jujutsu high would never take away the obligation I feel to save humanity from curses, right? So yeah, I think I would still exorcise curses- that is if my brother doesn't absorb them all first.

It was that entry that made Satoru sit up. Was (Y/n) still exorcising curses? She said herself here that she would even if she left the Jujutsu sorcerer. If she was truly still exorcising curses, that could make finding her a whole lot easier. But what would he do if he did find her? What would he say?

Please be a Jujutsu sorcerer again... that's what he'd say.

(A.N ~ I hope you enjoyed!)

Chapter 20 Quote Teaser :

"Whatever trouble you're thinking about causing, Gojo...don't."