My Guardian Love

Chapter V

Sometimes I feel like the most selfish person in the world. This entire time, I've only ever thought about myself. Even with everyone suffering, I feel that I've suffered the most. Which I have, but I could never imagine losing someone I love. It has to be hard on them to know I will die soon. That my time is limited.
"Do you feel any better?" Felix walked into the room, setting his bag to the side.
"I feel the same." I never felt any different. I wasn't in pain, but I stayed weak. "What's that?"
"I brought you some books." He handed me a bag, it was filled with books from my favorite authors. "I looked at your old books to figure what genre to get. You have a lot of fantasy novels." He sat down next to me.
"It's my favorite genre. It helps me forget that I'm in the hospital." I took out the books and examined them carefully. "Thank you for these."
"Of course. I'm sure you get bored in here." He patted my head.
"It's not so boring when you're here." I smiled and tilted my head.
"Is mom okay? I haven't seen her since the other day." I put away my books on my shelf. "She's not mad is she?"
"She's never mad at you. She just needed some time." I'm always afraid that the people I love most despise me for being this sick.
"Ah I see. Should I call?" I picked up my phone.
"I'll step out so you can." He got up and stepped out into the hallway.

I always dreaded phone calls. It's not that I don't like calling my family, I just fear what they have to say.
"Mom, are you coming to check in? I hope you're not mad." I paced around the room.
"Sweetheart, I am not mad in the slightest. I will visit today if you feel up to having guests!" She laughed.
"Of course! Felix's been here all morning. He just stepped out into the hall." I sat down.
"That's good. Keep him there. I want to see you both, okay?" I could hear her car keys.
"Mhm. I'll hold him hostage." I laughed some more and hung up.

As I laid the phone down, I heard a knock at the door. "Felix, you can come in. You don't have to knock." I got up to answer.
"You told me to knock." Chan stood there with a bag.
"I thought you were my brother. Im so sorry, come in." I walked away from the door. "Felix should be back any minute though."
"I won't stay long. I just wanted to drop off this food." He handed me the bag.
"Thank you. Have you eaten yet?" I laid the bag down on my bed.
"No, not yet. It's okay, my mom brought over a bunch." As he walked out, I welcomed him to stay.
"Why don't we eat together? You can stay a little longer." I smiled and patted the spot next to me. He came around the bed and sat down.
The door opened. "It's nice to see you again." Felix sat down in a chair. "Why're you here?"
"Be nice. We're having lunch!" My eyes widened. "I'm so sorry."
"It's okay." He laughed. "I promise we're just having lunch. No other intentions."
"That better be it." Felix mumbled under his breath.
"Quit that. You're loud." I threw a pillow at him as he laughed.

After lunch, my mom walked through the door. "Who's this?" She smiled.
"This is Chan. He stays in the room next to me." I pointed.
"Is there something you want to tell me?" She was giggly.
"Mom! We're just friends. We were having lunch." I gritted my teeth. She laughed at me.
"Okay okay. It's so nice to meet you." This is so embarrassing. Death can't take me any sooner.
"Oh my god, mom!" She hugged him tighter than she hugs me. "I'm so sorry for them."
"It's okay! They're your family so I don't mind." He laughed as he hugged my mom back.
"How old are you?" Felix had his arms crossed and I mumbled under my breath.
"That's rude, it doesn't matter." I said.
"It's not rude. I'm 21." He smiled. He gets so overprotective sometimes. I'll never understand why.

After my mom left, I said goodbye to Chan. "I'm going to spare your time. It's getting late." He stood up and grabbed his bag.
"Mhm. Goodnight." I stretched my arms above my head.
"We'll eat together tomorrow." He smiled and waved as he walked out the door. It was so nice having someone to keep me company. Someone who actually knew what I was going through. Someone who didn't pity me.
"Is he gone?" Felix stepped back inside.
"Yes, you can come in now." I started reading my book.
"He's polite, but I'm not sure I like him." I rolled my eyes, playfully.
"And what don't you like?" I couldn't contain my giggles.
"Well. I don't know!" He raised his voice, but I couldn't help, but laugh.
"Admit it." I said while reading.
"What?"
"You don't like him because he hangs out with me." I looked up. "And you're scared I'll get hurt. Am I right?" I knew I was right.
"Maybe a little. I don't understand why he has to cling to you out of everyone here." He pouted.
"He's not clinging. It's just nice to have someone going through the same thing you are." I patted him on the back. "Now stop pouting. You're acting like a little kid." I went back to my bed.
"I am not!" He whined some more.
"You definitely are." I said as I reopened my book.

Later that night after Felix went home, I went to Chans room. I knocked on the door and he quickly answered. "Can I have your number?" I didn't like him like that, I just thought it'd be an easier way to communicate.
"My number?" His eyes widened a bit.
"I just thought, it'd be easier to contact you this way just in case you have trouble sleeping and want someone to talk to." I handed him my phone.
"I can just knock on your door." He smirked. Oh my god, this is frustrating.
"Can I please just have it?" He laughed and took my phone.
"Here you go. I put it in there. If you need anything, let me know." He closed the door.
I don't know what's gotten into me. Why'd I ask for his number? I put my head into a pillow.
"What's wrong with you? This is embarrassing." I beat myself up over it. I'd rather be anywhere else but here right now.