My Guardian Love

Chapter XXIV

For days, I drove myself crazy trying to keep my distance from Chan. We didn't hang out regularly, but I saw him a few times at the cafe and the hospital. We made small talk, but he was never interested in anything I had to say. He couldn't remember a single thing about me nor did he care too. I no longer saw him in my dreams, instead I had nightmares about the man in black. Always telling me to give up. I didn't want to. We spent so much time getting to know each other and I spent months loving him with my entire soul. He was going to remember me.

I went downstairs to check for Felix, but he wasn't home instead there was a note left on the table that read, "I left early for work. There's breakfast on the stove if you get hungry. Please eat something even if it's just a snack. If you need anything, just call." I put the note down and went to the kitchen to grab breakfast. I wasn't hungry, but Felix was worried sick about me.
After I ate, I headed out the door, in hopes that I'd see Chan again today. I walked up and down the streets, but I never saw him.
That was, until I caught a glimpse of him at the other end of the street. His eyes were darker than normal and his skin was pale. He looked like a walking corpse.
I ran up to him. "Hi!" I waved with a big smile.
"What do you want? I'm busy." He looked down at his watch.
"I was hoping you'd walk with me!" My head tilted to the side.
"Why would I do that?"
"Let's go it'll be fun!" I bounced up and down.
"Where are we going?" He showed no interest.
"To the beach." As I walked, I noticed he wasn't following. "You coming?" I waved him over to me as I skipped.

When we arrived, we sat on the sand. I rambled about everything. "Isn't the water just so pretty? Ugh, I could sit here for days." I put my hands on my knees as they scooted closer to my chest.
"Why do you like hanging out with me? You don't even know me." He scoffed.
"Well, I'm not sure. I'm set to die soon so I thought I'd do a good deed and befriend the scariest person I know." I lied.
"That sounds stupid. If you're set to die, why get close to someone?" I pondered his question. I wasn't sick anymore, but when I was, I got close to him knowing it'd end soon.
"I don't know. I just don't want to be alone before I die."
"What if you hurt the other person?" I looked over at him.
"I never thought of it that way. I guess I just think about myself most of the time. It's kind of selfish of me, but when you're dying, you don't care about what others want or feel." I looked back at the water. "You just want your final moments to be something you won't regret." I could feel him staring at me, but I couldn't look at him.
"You know, I get this feeling that I used to love someone like that." My heart started racing. Could he be remembering? "I don't know. I feel so empty. Like there was a part of me that I don't have anymore."
"Do you feel it often?" I had no clue how to respond to that without freaking him out.
"More than I should. This may sound weird, but I have no memory of certain days. I can't recall a single detail." I stayed silent. I knew why he felt that, but he was opening up to me. I couldn't risk having him shut down.

A few minutes later, he stood up. "I've got to go. There's something I need to do." This time I didn't grab him. I nodded my head and I let him go. If I wanted him to remember, I needed to stay mellow. If I did anything drastic, it might alter everything again.
I stood up from my spot, walking towards the sidewalk. My memories flashing in front of my eyes of me and him here together. The days when he knew me and loved me. He risked everything for me, but I never knew it'd go this far.

When I got home, Felix was making dinner along with my mom who noticed me walk in.
"You're home!" She kissed my head and pulled me in for an embrace. "Where have you been?"
"No where in particular. Just walked around for a bit." Everyone knew I was no longer sick, it was like their brains had altered and forgot everything.
"Come sit down. Your brother made your favorite." Felix smiled at me from the kitchen as I sat at the dining table.
He had prepared every dish that I liked. Even the beverages were my favorites. "You didn't have to cater to me like this. I eat anything you make." I giggled.
"I wanted to. Plus, we're celebrating you being healthy. We always knew you'd overcome this." He smiled, bringing the final things to the table.
"You will live a long, healthy life. And maybe one day, you'll find your special person to love." My mom caressed the back of my head.
We ate dinner, talking about everything and anything. My mom was always there for me and she was always by my side. Even though me and my dad weren't on good terms, I know he loved me, deeply and just wanted what was best for me at the time.

After dinner, it was just me and Felix. My mom had went home early to see my dad after work. I helped him clear the table and clean the kitchen.
"Did you ever find who you were looking for?" Felix asked.
"I did." I looked up with a fake smile as I washed the dishes. "He forgot about me." I looked back down.
"What do you mean he forgot?"
"He just doesn't remember me. I'm not sure why, but he doesn't." We sat in silence. I couldn't stop thinking about everything I had gone through. Things that I couldn't tell anyone, not even my own brother. I couldn't confide in anyone about any of this.