My Guardian Love

Chapter XVI

For the next couple of days, I had trouble adjusting to the new information I was given by Chan. I didn't understand how any of it made any sense. He claimed he was sent to watch over me, but I didn't get enough details. I can't explain anything he did that night. It was all too much, but how was I supposed to call his bluff? No ordinary person could do the things he did with me. The beautiful sceneries he took me to within a second. How do I explain any of that? It seemed so unreal at the time. Am I really in love with someone that isn't real?

I tried keeping this to myself, but it was all so hard. Felix deserved to know, but he'd think I was crazy. I went downstairs to grab my shoes. I needed to talk to Chan, immediately. I rushed out the door to the car while fighting to get my phone out of my bag. I called Chan. "We need to talk." He picked up instantly.
"Is something wrong?"
"It's about what you told me. I need more information. I don't think I understand." He was silent. It was a topic he had never talked about again after that night. "Meet me somewhere."
"I'll meet you where we normally go." I hung up the phone and drove to our usual spot, the beach. He preferred to go there whenever he wasn't with me. He said it has been his resting place for as long as he has existed.

When I arrived, he was already waiting for me. He stared at the water, his back facing me. I walked slowly up to him, grabbing his hand. He turned around to face me. I knew he was hurting. He was scared I was disappointed or even scared of him now, but I wasn't. At that moment, I knew that he was worth the risk. He was worth loving like that. I hugged him to comfort him, patting his back. "It's hard to believe something like that. I know you are scared that I'm afraid of you or what you are, but I'm not." I rubbed his back some more. "I may not understand this, fully but I am trying my best. You are worth loving. You are worth dying for. I don't regret loving you in any way." I pulled away and caressed his face. "Explain it to me some more. I want to understand everything."
He smiled and leaned into my hand. "I know it was sudden and unbelievable. I'm so sorry for springing it upon you like that. I'll tell you everything." We sat on the sand while he explained more details than before, showing me things I had never seen before. His existence was so cruel and painful. Constantly being reborn for one person for all of eternity and not being able to love them. "You have met me before, but you don't remember me. After you die, you forget who I am, but I never forget you. It's painful and heartbreaking."
"When I met you back in the hospital, I felt something with you. Like I knew you from somewhere but couldn't remember where."
"That's how it is in every life. I'll always be familiar to you; you just won't know why." I sighed. I didn't want to be reborn if I couldn't remember who he was and how I loved him this much.
"In the next life, I'll look for you. I promise I'll remember you." I laid my head on his shoulder to rest. I was tired from my illness.
"I'd cross oceans for you. I'd burn for you. There's not a moment that I've spent with you that I regret. I'll love you forever, in every life; even when you don't love me." We sat there in silence almost as if time had stopped for a second. He wasn't allowed to get this close to me, but he was willing to sacrifice everything just to love me.

When I arrived home hours later, Felix was waiting for me at the door. "Where have you been?"
"I was with Chan. I needed to talk to him about a few things." He was holding his phone tightly, trying to hide the screen.
"What's going on?" I tried to grab his phone, but he tugged away. "Felix!" I grabbed his phone. It was texts from my parents, about me. "What are these?"
"I'm so sorry. I just found out today." He looked down at his feet.
I was hysterical. The texts read, "I can't approve of her being with that boy. Until they break up, we want nothing to do with her. I'm sorry." I was distraught. My parents are the ones who are supposed to love me no matter what.
"I need a minute." I gave him his phone and walked away. He screamed my name, but I never turned around. I kept walking until he was out of view. My phone rang many times, but I let it sit. I wanted doom to come sooner. I wanted to run away and leave everyone. It wasn't fair at all. My chest was heavy, and I had a lump in my throat. I ran for what felt like forever.

When I arrived, I knocked on the door. "What's wrong?" Chan pulled me into an embrace. "Don't cry." He was trying to quiet me down.
"I can't do this anymore! It hurts so much." I screamed into his chest, violently sobbing. "It's unbearable. Make it stop." My tears soaked up his sleeves. He patted my head.
"It's going to be okay. Let's go inside." He brought me inside, sitting me down on the couch. "I can't make this pain stop, but I can lessen it."
"Can I stay with you tonight?" I was in tears. My eyes were puffy, and my nose was red. "I can't go back there tonight."
"Of course, you can. Let's go lay down." We went to his room. He grabbed extra blankets for me. I lay down, staring at the ceiling. "You can stay here for as long as you want. I'm right here." He pulled me closer to him.
"I want everything to stop just for a second. It seems like I can't catch a break."
"Everything will be okay, I promise. Just rest for now. We'll worry about it in the morning." He pulled me into his chest while I sobbed silently. The world was so cruel to me, and it seemed like it was only me. I never thought I deserved any of this, but I guess I was wrong. It was my fate, and I couldn't change it. I wanted to scream at everyone around me. I wanted to run away and die alone in peace. I want all of this to end.