Chronicles of HIRAWEI: The Owl Phases

Chapter 40

Chapter 40: Living With Lies

We have a choice to live or to exist. By the time your emotions drown and take over, you can't be able to control the bomb that has been ticking off inside you. And like an explosive that overwhelmed and shaken you as a whole, it will lead to your own downfall.

Weakness. It's a crucial thing you must protect, for anyone to not take advantage of you. In order to save yourself, you mustn't give them the pleasure that they can play with it.

Emotions. The most vulnerable and fragile thing you can't control. You bleed without trying, but how can you manage to hide this when everything hits you with reality?

How can you conquer the battlefield within the enemy is not anyone but you– yourself? Are you willing just to be a marionette?

I appreciate simplicity. The mediocrity. Of being absorbed in my thoughts. The life of a solivagant. It's who I am. It's all I know.

But, sometimes lost thing can be found. And the truth when you found yourself, makes you wonder a lot of things. How did you manage to survive?

In my world, I do not fear death. Nor, I am scared for my future. You know one thing I am scared of? When I can't be able to control myself, if I found the answers I've been dying to know.

My complicated life and lifestyle makes me a cold, stoned heart, and intimidating. I rarely show my emotions and that means I'm genuine with it.

Despite the life I have been living even though the truth was hidden from me. I'm still very grateful for everything. I hear, saw, and I can feel them. It warms my cold soul that someone could find me important when all I thought, I'm nothing less.

How could you break the chains binded around you? How could you escape the cages that live within you? They said, lifetime is like a phase. You went through different phases.

Would you be able to live as your own? or just surviving?

Nandito na ang lahat sa private room ng warehouse para sa myembro ng Nobilissimus Association. Ang Knights na sugatan at pasa na natamo. Dahil sa biglang pagsulong ng mga kalaban at pakikipaglaban nila para ma protektahan ang institution.

I don't think they're wounded physically. They're just trying to lift up theirselves even though they know that they're wounded emotionally.

What do you expect? Two of their advance members was held captive, and one member betrayed their trust.

Tahimik lang ako nakaupo at nag iisip sa silya habang ginagamot sila ng mga healers. Nag aasaran pa rin sila na di alintana ang kundisyon nila.

They're all just like me. If we let our emotions drown us, we wouldn't be able to help ourselves. And if we can't control it, how can we think properly? In this kind of situation, you have to be a clown.

Act tough and act everything. Why? There's nothing to be ashamed off when you don't want others to see you weak. Sometimes, not everyone wants to be comforted but the feeling that your presence was still there listening? or just be there with your existence? is already a great help for us to feel we somehow feel alive.

Nadinig ko din sa kanila na ang tauhan nila Abuelo at Chief ang nag ligpit at nag ayos sa labas. Dinala nila ang mga tauhan na na dakip nila sa presinto ng TGV realm para sa kaso na ipababatay sa kanila. Kasalukuyan naibalik na lahat ng mga estudyante sa kanilang mga dormitoryo at binalitaan ang kanilang mga magulang. Halo-halo din ang reaksyon na na tanggap ng mga namamahala ng academy na 'to tungkol sa seguridad ng paaralan.

Nilalaro ko lang ang kamay ko ng bumukas bigla ang pintuan. Hindi ako nag angat ng tingin dahil hindi naman ako interesado.

Naging tahimik ang paligid at ramdam ko din ang mabibigat na yapak ng isang sapatos. Huminto ito sa gilid ko.