My True Beauty

PT 17

*y/n's POV*
It's Friday now, and I don't want to get up. I can't bear the fact of seeing my parents in a casket. I had trouble getting up. "Y/n, come on you have to get up." Tom shook me lightly. I started silent, I felt miserable. "Y/n, you're their only daughter. You have to say a last goodbye." He rubbed my back. I wanted to cry. I do have to say goodbye. Oh man.

I was done getting ready, help from Tom since I was having trouble making a move. I walked downstairs to see them all eating. It was 8 in the morning and the funeral started around 10. I sat down next to Tom where my plate was, but didn't move. I didn't feel like eating. "Dot." Tom spoke up.

"Hmm." I responded, staring at my food.

"You have to eat, you can't go without eating."

"I don't want to eat."

"Well then I'll help you." He dropped his fork, picking up mine. Grabbing some egg, he put it up to my mouth but I didn't budge. I had a feeling if I was just going to eat, I would just to throw it up. "Y/n." He said stern. I opened my mouth as he put the food in, and slowly started to chew. I felt myself becoming nauseous and before I knew it, I went to the trash and threw it up. Tom held my hair as I finished. Bill passed me a towel to clean my face. "I'm sorry dot, I'm just worried that if you didn't eat you would-".

"Tom, it's ok. I know." I wiped my face, giving a small smile. "I'ma go brush my teeth again and then we will head out, ok?" I said. He nodded before I turned around to brush my teeth from vomiting. 

We barely arrived since the car ride was 1 hour. It was 9:24 so we made it in time. I was greeted by aunts and uncles who came from New Jersey over here. Cousins and the friend of my parents were also there. I greeted them with Tom and everyone , telling them tom is my boyfriend even tho he isn't, and I am staying with them. "Honey." Aunt Tracy came up to me.

"Hey tia." I embraced her.

"Since you're the only daughter, you're the only one who is able to see them, before anyone else." She pulled away. I felt my fake smile drop, I didn't know how to feel. I felt, dead. "Also, the door is over in a break room, so if you need to break something Go there." She whispered. She knew about my anger when I cried. "Go when you're ready." She patted my shoulder before walking away.

"Do you want to go alone?" Tom put his hand on my shoulder. I stayed silent, do I?

"Yeah."

"I'm here if you need anything ok."he whispered in my ear. I nodded before walking into the arena of where I would see them. I slowly walked closer and closer to their casket. I didn't want to see their frozen bodies that have been dressed up for them to be turned into ashes. I closed my eyes and felt the casket in front of me. I can't do it. I can't open my eyes. It's okay, breath. I opened my eyes, their eyes closed, their hands cold, my dad in a suit and my mom in this white beautiful dress. I gasped once I saw them. I began to cry, hard. Why did it have to be them? They didn't need to end up like this. I felt against the casket of my mom's as tears rolled down my face. I didn't put any makeup on, only mascara and lipgloss.

"Oh why, bro." I said. I walked up to my mom, put my hands on her face, caressing her cold cheeks. "No." I mumbled. I looked over to my dad, doing the same. Cold. They were cold. I broke down even more when memories just flushed my brain. The doors behind me were open, so people could see me breaking down into tears. I walked over to the door, slamming it open and started throwing things. My anger really took over as I broke everything single thing. I took a bat off the wall and started smashing vases I saw. Glasses breaking, causing loud noises, grunting every time I hit something."eeAhhh" "fucken..shit." As I was about to break something else, I stopped. Dropping the bat, and falling to my knees. Why couldn't they have just called me? Why couldn't I just hear their vices one more time before it all ended? I stood up, my knees being bloody from the glass. Fuck. I walked through the glass making crunching noises from my heels, and closed the door. From where the door was, the angle, everyone could see me. I looked to the side for the first aid kit and sat down on the chair. Silence filled the whole building, eyes all on me. I picked out about 3 pieces of glass and cleaned my knee. Bandaging them. Taking one of the glasses with me, I finished, I fixed my dress by putting the kit back. I walked towards where everyone was watching me. I glanced to see Tom, eyes filled with tears. I looked at all their faces. I know they didn't like to see me like this. I walked past them, to the bathroom. I closed the door and looked in the mirror. Tears are still rolling down my face. I looked at my wrist, putting the glass against it.

"Y/n!" Tom's voice on the other side of the door. "Open it up dot. You promised." His voice is breaking down. I hated it when I heard it. I promised though. I did. I dropped the glass onto the counter, opening the door to reveal Tom there with the rest behind him. Eyes on us. I was embraced with a hug from him, tightly. I felt so numb, no tears formed. My eyes were just puffy. "It's hard, I know. But you promised. And I'm here ok, I'm here." He spoke.

"I know." I mumbled.

It was my turn to speak on behalf of my parents. I walked up to the microphone. No note to read just what's on my mind. I sighed, having a small echo through the microphone. "No words explain the feeling I have right now. It's hard to hear that you don't have the two people in your life anymore to guide you and make memories with you anymore." My voice started cracking. "I....I know many people who are heartbroken from this news. I wish I could say we feel the same pain but we don't. The memories are here, but they are gone. My guidance is gone. My guardians are gone. My supporters are gone. They are gone....... Times where we all laughed were my favorite. They are in a better place, but with all my love for them, they are still here. " I pointed in my heart. I looked down feeling myself needing to cry, a dry throat. I looked back up, nodding, before heading back to my seat with a small clasp heard from everyone.

As I walked out, my hand on both caskets. Putting them in the car they are getting taken away, I kiss the casket. "Goodbye." I said, before shutting the doors. Walking backwards in Tom's arms as they drove away. Yeah...goodbye mom and dad.

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Words can't explain how much I dreaded writing this! Who else is crying? 🙋🏻‍♀️ Xoxo 😘