In Waves -Book 3

Chapter 22 - K.O

Sweaty on a Thursday afternoon, it became a standard pattern, one I had followed mostly for the past few years and it was my own kind of padded therapy followed by Coffee and chatting.

Jenson was a saving grace, I didn't need to tell him the full in's and out's of the internal anger I carried with me everyday, he just let me scream and punch it out, and all the time in the back of my head I guess I was gearing myself up for the impossibility that the evil that took my love from world could come back and by that time I would be some unstoppable super woman capable of saving the world.

I felt weak at times, I remember that day Taehyung caught me off guard and beat me so bad that I made peace with dying in that moment and I couldn't save Yoongi as he screamed and howled as I was engulfed by unconciousness.

He was like an evil rash that always found ways of curling around and into me, and memories from those days made me shudder when he exposed how vulnerable I really must have been.

Namjoon never told me much about him, not that I would ever want to hear it, it is probably too extreme for words, evil normally is.

But Kat, he is dead, he has been the best worm food for almost 5 years and he didn't kill us, his gun I found didn't kill me either, and I remember only now that he probably doesn't have a resting place like Namjoon, both him and Jungkook hopefully were far away from anyone who was loved, they deserved the coldness of benig alone, like so many they themselves had killed and their families probably had no resolution.

But for some reason I couldn't let that bruised beaten version of me go, it was almost like embarassment , that I let someone hurt me so bad again and a sheer ragid determination to never let it happen again.

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'Gimme 5 up top!' Jenson puffed in his stance in front of me, pads braced for impact.

'1...2....3......4........5!' I shouted with each punch making sure to enuciate the last one and feeling my knuckles burn under the bandages on my hands for protection.

'Nope ....not good enough!' Jenson said keeping his stance and holding his pads in place and his words pissing me off with each syllable.

'Fuck sake! ' I said as I hit 5 times again , but just got aggravated with myself.

'Come on Kat ......I know you can do this' Jenson ordered.

'1.......2......3.4.5' I said volleying hard at the end in vague hope Jenson would let up.

'Right .....what is on your mind....you seem somewhere else Kat ?' Jenson said resting his hands, pads and all, on his hips and his gaze fixed not letting me escape.

'nothing .....I am fine' I said rolling my wrists and quiet happy to go again.

'Bullshit........you aren't that good a liar ' Jenson said softly swaying from foot to foot.

'It's nothing J........lets go again......I'm not letting you win this one!' I said sarcastically hoping my vague attempt at humour would make him stop digging.

Pads up he just looked at me.

'1....2......3.....AHHHHH' I screamed and Jenson just grinned inanely.

'Ok FUCK SAKE I PUNCHED HOBI IN FACE AND I CAN'T STOP FEELING GUILTY !!' I yelled and punched Jenson's pads with ferocity , even slightly missing the pad on the last word and actually hitting Jensons's arm.

'what the actual fuck !!' Jenson said all wide eyed and a little confused.

I just puffed, the wind knocked out of me and hoping the guilt would fly off into the air.