In Waves -Book 3

Chapter 37 - Sandcastles

It doesn't matter how many times this day comes around, it is always going to hurt but as ever the persistent single mother, I had to put a brave face on for Aera, as today wasn't about my mind constantly flashing back to that day when I held her father in my arm's as he died, it was about being happy that for a short time, I had had him and he had unknowingly created this beautiful child I get to call our Daughter.

We have a tradition, we pick a beach each year and we go out for the day. As it's summer, even in the UK, it is usually warm and sunny and we go and walk in the sand and I tell Aera stories about her Daddy. We write his name, Granny Gracey, and Uncle Jimin's name in the sand so the waves can take it and show it to the clouds so that they can all see it from Heaven.

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'Mama what's the place called we are going' Aera asked as we sat on the train going down towards the south coast of England, she just nibbled on some carrot sticks that she dipped in a little pot of hummus, one of the little favorites that she had enjoyed with Ella in their back garden on spring afternoon and I never heard the end of it.

'It's called Camber Sands baby...Mama used to go there as a little girl too' I smile as I remember the few good memories I had from my childhood that hurt my heart and soul.

'When was you a little girl Mama....because your number is bigger than mine?' Aera asked always fascinated that adults could be both old and young at the same time.

'Well Mama was born in Italy remember and I came here when I was a little bit older than you, but I was about 9 when I came to Camber Sands for the first time' I sighed.

Truth be told my family had tried to have a mini seaside holiday as one of my uncles lived in a town called Hastings in and well, the holiday was one big shit show from one moment to the next, Dad getting drunk as usual, my brothers being assholes in their teen years and calling me a mistake over and over always hurt no matter how many times they did it, but my mother in one of her good days before she succumbed to being just as evil as papa took us on the bus to Camber sands.

But this trip with my baby girl would be different, we are trying to colour sadness with rainbows because as we say, bad times do come but the rainbows light the way after the storm.

'Is there lots of Sand Mama...I don't want crabs to take my sandwiches!' Aera asked as she finished her last carrot stick.

'I don't think there will be many crabs there baby...they will be out in the sea' I replied.

'I wish Bo Bo could have come Mama...I miss him!' Aera said her little smile vanishing and it made my heart sad because she didn't know, and for good reason, that Bo Bo was making her Mama happy again but Mama didn't know how to explain it without breaking a 4 years olds heart about her Daddy. 

'I know he is busy at work baby...he said he will see you soon' I sighed and smiled.

'I want him to play with me and Penny Mama!' Aera exclaimed.

'He will see you soon Gracey baby and we will have a nice day, and we can show him photos from today can't we?' I said trying to give her some reassurance that she would see her bestie Hobi soon and she can give him a big hug for bringing her new avian friend, the Penguin she had now dubbed Penny, into her life.

'Mama, are you going to do writing at the beach?' Aera asked as she tried to wipe her hands on her jacket but I stopped her mid-swipe with a wet wipe to capture the remaining hummus remnants on her little chubby fingers.

'Yes baby, Mama writes a letter to Daddy every year and the birdies come and get it and take it to him' I said, giving her the child-friendly explanation hoping it would hold for a few more years before I would have to tell her the truth about everything.