Oh No, I can hear Ella getting closer, fuck dammit it wasn't supposed to be like this, no one is ever supposed to see me like this, I am falling apart and I can't explain this.
'Kat.......Kat, where are you?' Ella bellowed as she got closer to my Ensuite bathroom and there was nothing I could do to stop her.
The shower still was running and I didn't feel like anything in my body was working, least of all the idea that I could step out of the bath and quickly strip off into a towel but it was too late as I saw the wooden door fly open.
'Kat WHAT THE FUCK !!' Ella screamed at me, reaching over and through the scalding water to turn it off, wincing as her thin arms touched the temperature of the water.
'I'm sorry .....I am sorry' I just quietly uttered in between sobs.
'Kat you are fucking soaking and your back is bright red....what in fucks name are you doing? Ella said trying to get me to move.
'I couldn't .....I couldn't' I shook still sitting.
'Kat what ?....have you taken something.....did someone do something.....did Hobi?' Ella replied.
'No No .......I shouldn't have' I said crying and disappearing into a huddle on my knees.
'No Kat........I'm going to call an ambulance .....get out of the tub.....' Ella said trying to force my arms but I was too locked in sadness even to respond.
Ella fiddled with her phone and flicked it open.
'No.........Please' I managed to utter, I couldn't have anyone showing up here, I don't want to lose Aera.
'Kat .......honey......please' Ella said, dropping her phone, levering her arm under mine, and slowly helping me slide out of the bath and onto the floor next to her.
'I just want it to be ok.....why is it not ok?' I said falling into sobs onto my cousins' knees and I just let the flood that was inside me escape.
'Kat......your back is so red....what were you doing ?' Ella said, her voice slightly nervous and cracking.
'I shouldn't feel like this .........' I said and shook my head, every inch of my body just wanting to be alone, I deserved it.
'Kat what happened....please ...I am so worried ......' Ella said wrapping her arms around me.
'I can't like him.....I can't .....he isn't him.....he isn't ....but when ...when he touched me.....noooo' I sobbed and gulped almost every word.
'What ....who touched you.....Kat are you hurt ?' Ella said shaking me on her lap.
'Tell me I am wrong Ella....tell me I made a mistake .......not him.....not Hobi!' I sobbed, my tears almost acidic on my cheeks and trailing my makeup down my face in erratic patterns to write the story of the night.
'Hobi?' Ella spoke softly.
'I can't....he isn't Namjoon.....I can't do this again' I sobbed and sobbed and then sobbed a little more, as surely the human body only had enough tears and I would cry them out and feel better.
I just felt Ella's arms wrap around me, I could feel her love and warmth as she rocked with me slowly, and it was as if she knew, she knew the words that I was trying to say and she was trying to help me in the unspoken way that she always seemed to.
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She had got me into the bedroom, my bootless feet slowly making my way onto the bed and I sat as she handed me dry clothes and tried to dry my hair.
YOU ARE READING
In Waves -Book 3
FanfictionYou need to have read Book 1 Paradox and Book 2 Embers for this all to make sense. It had been years since Katalina's life had changed and she saw what love did to her life. Now a few years in the future, Kat navigates her families life and how you...
