Fait à la Perfection

24

Hermione was at home doing housework when the doorbell rang. She dried off her hands and went to go answer only to be taken aback by seeing her mother.

"Mum?"

Her mother entered and Hermione felt like she was in trouble. She looked at the car parked in the street and saw Richard making a cross shape before pulling out his newspaper.

Hermione sighed.

Oh she was in trouble.

Hermione took a deep breath and entered the house once more. Her mother was working the dishes and she slid into a chair.

"Mum?"

Her mother looked at her and Hermione played with her hands.

"You know who I saw at your fathers grave yesterday?"

Hermione knew where this was going. But her mother never was the type of woman to get right to the point.

"Who?"

"This young man, around your age, he was rambling on and on—"

"Mum I'm sorry but can you get to the point? I'm not in the mood today."

Not after spending the night drinking her sorrows, dealing with Lily who had another colicky episode the same night, Henry who didn't get enough sleep and threw two tantrums before leaving with Grace. This was the first time she had time to herself after finally putting Lily to sleep and getting James to get a few more hours of sleep.

Her mother took her hands.

"He's a good man Hermione," Jean whispered. Hermione tried to pull away but her mother didn't let her.

"Mum—"

"You can't keep pushing everyone away Hermione, it's not healthy, you think you're protecting yourself but you're only hurting yourself."

Hermione clenched her jaw.

"It wasn't your fault," her mother whispered. But the voice in her head said otherwise.

"It was..."

"No—"

"I should have listened the first time—"

"I should have never left your father alone." Jean whispered, "your father...he was ill...and he had been ill for a very long time...I should have—I should have known when he kissed me goodbye that day that it was goodbye...but I was more focused on everything else around the house than this realize that he was saying goodbye, Hermione you cannot blame yourself for what he did...he was tired, we can blame ourselves and we can blame each other for the rest of our lives but it will do nothing because he's dead..."

Hermione let out a soft sob.

Her mother pulled her into her chest as Hermione cried softly.

"It wasn't your fault Hermione," her mother told her, "it wasn't either of our fault...it wasn't even his fault...it just happened...we can't keep blaming ourselves. It won't bring him back to us..."

Hermione held one her mother as she sobbed. She felt like a little girl left innocent to the cruel world.

She knew she shouldn't blame herself. The logical part of herself knew this. But the child that saw her father dead would forever blame herself for not listening the first time.

"I'm scared," she cried in a whisper.

"I know sweetie," Jean whispered, kissing her temple, "it's terrifying falling in love...but it's so worth it Hermione" her mother assured her, "it's worth it...the joy, the pain, the love, everything...because you're doing it with your soulmate."