Winter Sunshine

Painful Truth

'Come and know me better man.' Savannah tugged on Loki's arms, leading him towards her bedroom. 'Or is that god?'

He smirked in reply, carrying her the rest of the way, because according to him-

'You walk far too slowly for my liking.' It was to piss Tony off, and they both knew it. Savannah walked at a perfect pace, thank you very much.

They sat on the bed, Loki waiting for Savannah to start speaking. Savannah was being oblivious again. Though fully aware of the fact that, as a woman, she could multi-task, she preferred not to, and could sit in silence contemplating why all left socks and pens seemed to disappear. She was deep in thought now, but for once it was not on the existence of a picky sock-eating monster who liked writing letters by hand, but that Tony was acting strangely. Something at the back of her mind knew why, but it was being selfish, and not sharing. Stupid brain. She looked up suddenly, to where Loki was sitting, gazing at her curiously. She took a seat next to him on the bed, and lay on her back, knees still bent over the edge.

'So ...' That was a waste of breath. 'My life, part two.'

'No, your powers, and I wish to know more of your children's home.'

'I was born November 17th, 1989. I know nothing of my true family, but when I was five, my adoptive family died in a fire. Somehow, I managed to escape, and I lived on the streets for two years before authority found me. They sent me to 'The Terracotta House', and although I had never been to school before, I was a fast learner, and I ended up in Year Five, as opposed to Year Two. I won a scholarship to Rowena High, and I stayed there until I left school, at fourteen. It was my last day of school, July 15th 2004 , when I was kidnapped.

SHIELD found me February 9th, 2006. They ran tests on me, and this is what they found. My powers are hard to trigger, if I am sick, or malnourished, or tired, or surprised they don't work. They sometimes trigger if I'm scared, so if I wake up in the middle of the night, I need a password to leave my room. Other people can come and go without one, but mine is a safety measure. The password works, because, while my powers are activated, I can only remember my life before July 15th. I can't remember anything else though.

When I return to normality, it is like I have a mental block, and I rely on newspapers, videos, and random flashbacks to tell me what has happened. I see everything through a red mist. I can shape-shift, change my appearance and voice to resemble others, and change my skin to different materials. I can teleport, create doppelgangers, read, control and destroy minds, I have telekinesis, I can fly, and I can see through objects. I can cast illusions, turn myself invisible, and I have superhuman reflexes. I am impossibly fast and impossibly strong. I am a monster.'

'No, you are not a monster. There is nothing wrong with you, it is not your fault you are who you are.' Savannah smiles then, and looks up gratefully at Loki.

'Thank you,' she says. 'I needed that. For so long, I hated myself. I tried to kill myself. I would steal, and lie, and I hurt innocent people, and did things I never want anyone to know about. I caught sight of my reflection in a mirror once, while I was living on the streets. I didn't recognise myself, could only see the monster I'd become. I still find it hard to look in mirrors now. I still don't recognise myself. That day, I started cutting myself. I got an odd satisfaction out of seeing my own blood pour onto the floor below, felt that I deserved the pain. I hadn't done it in years, but sometimes, after a particularly bad nightmare, I'd find myself reaching for a razor, to purge myself. A long time ago, people believed that if you were sick, you would get a doctor to cut the 'bad blood' from you, to help you get better. I believed I was sick then, Loki, I thought that I was helping, that I knew what I was doing.'

Loki looked angry. Not heated, thoughtless anger, but cold, violent anger. Vengeful anger. He still said nothing, though, but glanced at her wrist in understanding. He gently lifted her hand, and she felt a pleasant tingling sensation that stopped after a few seconds. Healing magic. Removing the bandage, she found the wound completely closed up, and apart from a slight soreness, she honestly doubted that it had ever been there. She nodded gratefully.

'The nightmares never stopped. Until last night. You must have used magic, because, as long as I can remember, there have been nightmares. My tormentors' screams, their pleads for mercy, the blaze that killed the people who cared about me, and the darkness. That was the worst. There was nothing. No one. Nowhere. Just darkness. And I was so, so alone. It was different to the unconsciousness. I knew I was fine then, and I welcomed unconsciousness like an old friend. The darkness was nothing. It brought nothing but memories, and I have no good ones left. Not any more. I crave touch, be it rough or gentle, because it is touch. Because touch requires you to reach out. I crave care and attention, and love. But who could love something like me. I am scarred and broken on the inside, not beautiful. I am bitter and twisted, and soiled goods.'

'The men,' Loki says, and his voice is cold, 'They did more than cut you.' Savannah nods dumbly, and breaks down in tears. Again. But Loki's words soothe the jagged edges of her shattered soul.

'You are safe now.' In his arms, Savannah feels truly at peace with the world. Wait, she feels peaceful in the arms of the man who tried to take over Earth? Who is called the God of Lies? Shit! 'I used no magic, Savannah. You will come to no more harm.'

She needs to finish her story. It feels better to say it than keep it bottled up, and she tells Loki this when he raises a questioning eyebrow. He strokes her hair, and she is oddly lulled by the simple gesture. She wipes away her tears, and continues with her story.

'Living at the Terracotta House was worse than the streets. The only reason I stayed was because I could always have one school meal on week days. I hated school holidays with all of my heart, and spent them hiding from my bullies. I hated those who found joy once. Now I envy them, for I shall never be truly free from my past.' Savannah sighs, and falls asleep, exhausted by her tale, but safe in the knowledge that Loki will protect her. Protect her? Oh dear.

A/N: Brownie points if you spot the refence to 'A Christmas Carol'. I love you all, but my feet are cold.