Risky, my favorite // lesbian story (g!p x girl)

31.

Maya's POV

I sat up quickly with sweat coming down my face as tears left my eyes. I placed my hands on my face and tried to hold myself back from crying because everyone is asleep and I don't want any of them to wake up and see me like this.

I hate being vulnerable to any of my family members.

But I couldn't help myself. I was crying quietly and I was also having a little panic attack.

I had a dream about my mom. It was her dying but it was scarier, more painful and it was me that killed her.

No one can make me feel better when things like this happens other than Evelyn.

I removed my hands from my face and took my phone from the nightstand beside me.

I sniffed and pressed on her name, calling her and putting the phone up to my ear as I stood up and went to the bathroom that was right outside the room I was in.

I closed the door, locked it then sat down on the floor with my knees up to my chest as I kept my hand placed my chest with more tears leaving my eyes.

"Baby?" I heard Evelyn say with a tired voice, sounding like she just woke up "are you okay? I thought you were asleep" she said as I heard a bit of movements from her side.

We always tell each other goodnight. I can't sleep if I don't see her goodnight text.

"I had a nightmare" I said with a little sob leaving my mouth. I placed my elbow on my knee and rested the side of my head on the palm of my hand "oh baby. Was it about your mom?" She asked softly, sounding more awake now "yeah" I mumbled quietly.

"I miss you so much, you know? Yesterday when I was with my friends I kept showing them your pictures because you looked so cute. They hated it" I laughed a little at what she said and placed my head back on the wall, trying to steady my breathing.

"Elsie misses you too. God she loves you so much, it's unbelievable and she's taking amazing care of Crunchie. If that little pussy could speak, she would beg to have you back because Elsie is cuddling her wayyyy too much"

"Did you just call Crunchie little pussy?" I asked laughing as I sniffed "I mean yeah. She responds to it too. I call her little pussy all the time, not around Elsie though"

I kept listening to Evelyn talking about random things. She knows that it makes me calm down because it distracts me from what I was upset about.

I know I say it way too much but I love this woman so fucking much.

I'd die for her and I'd fucking kill someone for her. I am not even near joking about that.

She's always on my mind.

When I think about her or any moment I have with her, I can't help but smile widely.

I never thought I'd ever fall in love and find someone this amazing but I did and I'm so fucking scared.

After this Malakai guy appeared, I started doubting myself even more. I know they have nothing going on and Evelyn barely said anything about him when she realized that it made me jealous and insecure but I'm still scared.

What if he makes her way into her life and becomes a huge part of it?

What if he starts becoming her comfort person or the person she has the most fun with then it turns into something more and she realizes that she never really loved me that much?

I feel unlovable sometimes. I'm such a handful and I have so many issues, I don't even know how she puts up with me but I feel like at some point she'll get bored of trying to help me through things.

When I have a really bad day and I just start hating myself for some reason, I always imagine how it would be if I didn't have Evelyn to lighten up my day.

I imagine being alone, dying alone and just having no one beside me when I'm going through something. It kills me.

I hurt myself by imagining things like that or thinking about Evelyn leaving me. And I overthink every little thing.

It's going to drive me absolutely insane.

"Are you all better now?" Evelyn asked with a soft caring voice "yeah" I said nodding my head "good baby. Go back to sleep, you need to rest and if you need anything call me, don't hesitate"

"I will baby. I love you"