SUMMER CAN LAST FOREVER

THE AFTERMATH

CONRAD
Its been 2 days since the fight with jere. Ive pretty much healed up, laurels at the house, she came yesterday, when belly told her about what happened. I shower, put some clothes on, and go out of my room.

"Coffee?" laurel offers me a cup.

"thanks" i smile.

"Im sorry laurel. I shouldnt have fought jere, but he wouldnt leave belly alone. I wish I knew what was happening, so I could help him. hes my brother" I confess and I feel the hot tears run down my face.

"Oh connie, im not angry at you. Im sorry you had to fight your own brother. I really thought I got through to him, he said he took my words to heart. That he would go to cousins, and see beck, talk to her. Feel close to her. But he has too much adam in him. You may not believe this, but ultimately jeremiahs in the anger phase of grief now" laurel states.

"He does have a lot of dad in him" i mumble.

"What about this grief stage? Jere already went through all the stages. He took it way better than me" i say.

"Did he though?" laurel counters.

"Think about it con, by the time jere even found out the cancer came back last summer, you had known for awhile, and were angry that shed given up. Jeremiah, was in denial up until the day beck died. Then he moved to sadness, and now hes angry, his mother was taken from him again. Right now, youre in the acceptence part, even if you dont realize it. You see, your anger phase was last summer into the winter, and youre bargaining phase lasted til she died. Then you went back to sadness for a bit, but because you already had that anger phase before she died. You could accept it easier, and you went to therepy, you got help" laurel explains.

I clear my throat"that um that makes a lot of sense" I look at her.

"Hell come back around, I know hes done unforgivable things, and im so angry at him too, but when he does we need to forgive him, help him, and love him. You couldeve called me you know, im kinda dissapointed you didnt. I know I was here for cleveland, but i promised beck id always be there for her boys. I meant that promise with everything im me" laurel tells me firm but with love.

More tears stream down my face.
"i dont want my brother to hate me. Hes the only one who truely knows, because she was his mom too, and i know everyones sad, she was your best friend, and belly and stevens godmother but loosing a mom is just...".

laurel hugs me tight.
"I know, its not the same" she comforts, and I cry into her shoulder.

"Lets not dwell on this, lets focus on something else, my sweet connie" she wipes my tears.

"I know, ill never replace her, but im your mom now too. Never forget that ever, i love you" laurel tells me.

"i love you too" I reply.

"Aw con you actually said, it I mean ive always known you loved me" she starts.

"But its nice to hear the words, my therepist helped me realize that. Im able to say it now, I probably dont say it enough to the people i love, especially to belly. I finally told her, she was the first person other than mom, or jere, that i told that too, like actually said it" i reply soft.

"Im so glad things are working out, you know i always hoped itd be you. I love jere, but he was never good enough for my belly. He was too carefree, too life of the party, he never challenged her, or grounded her, or protected her the way you do" laurel tells me and i smile at her.

"Thank you for saying that" I hug her again

"i didnt get to do it, but the night of the fight, i had planned this whole date for belly and I. I was so happy about it. I went to the floral shop, and got her her favorite flowers peonies with roses and poppys. I went to 3 different shops gathering enough meats, cheese, and fruit to make a charchuterie board. I put everything into a picnic basket, and I was going to take her onto the beach at sunset, and have a picnic" I try to hide my emotions, but i know im failing miserably.